The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

ordeal for a young fellow who has lost his benefactor by so cruel

a stroke–and they are right.” He resumed his speech:

“For more than twenty years I have amused my compulsory

leisure with collecting these curious physical signatures in this town.

At my house I have hundreds upon hundreds of them.

Each and every one is labeled with name and date; not labeled the

next day or even the next hour, but in the very minute that the

impression was taken. When I go upon the witness stand I will

repeat under oath the things which I am now saying. I have the

fingerprints of the court, the sheriff, and every member of the jury.

There is hardly a person in this room, white or black,

whose natal signature I cannot produce, and not one of them can

so disguise himself that I cannot pick him out from a multitude

of his fellow creatures and unerringly identify him by his hands.

And if he and I should live to be a hundred I could still do it.

[The interest of the audience was steadily deepening now.]

“I have studied some of these signatures so much that I know

them as well as the bank cashier knows the autograph of his

oldest customer. While I turn my back now, I beg that several

persons will be so good as to pass their fingers through their hair,

and then press them upon one of the panes of the window

near the jury, and that among them the accused may set THEIR

finger marks. Also, I beg that these experimenters, or others,

will set their fingers upon another pane, and add again the marks

of the accused, but not placing them in the same order or

relation to the other signatures as before–for, by one chance in

a million, a person might happen upon the right marks by pure guesswork,

ONCE, therefore I wish to be tested twice.”

He turned his back, and the two panes were quickly covered

with delicately lined oval spots, but visible only to such

persons as could get a dark background for them–the foliage of a tree,

outside, for instance. Then upon call, Wilson went to the

window, made his examination, and said:

“This is Count Luigi’s right hand; this one, three

signatures below, is his left. Here is Count Angelo’s right;

down here is his left. How for the other pane: here and here

are Count Luigi’s, here and here are his brother’s.” He faced about.

“Am I right?”

A deafening explosion of applause was the answer.

The bench said:

“This certainly approaches the miraculous!”

Wilson turned to the window again and remarked,

pointing with his finger:

“This is the signature of Mr. Justice Robinson. [Applause.]

This, of Constable Blake. [Applause.] This of John Mason, juryman.

[Applause.] This, of the sheriff. [Applause.]

I cannot name the others, but I have them all at home, named and dated,

and could identify them all by my fingerprint records.”

He moved to his place through a storm of applause–which the

sheriff stopped, and also made the people sit down, for they were

all standing and struggling to see, of course. Court, jury,

sheriff, and everybody had been too absorbed in observing

Wilson’s performance to attend to the audience earlier.

“Now then,” said Wilson, “I have here the natal autographs

of the two children–thrown up to ten times the natural size by

the pantograph, so that anyone who can see at all can tell the

markings apart at a glance. We will call the children A and B.

Here are A’s finger marks, taken at the age of five months.

Here they are again taken at seven months. [Tom started.]

They are alike, you see. Here are B’s at five months, and also at

seven months. They, too, exactly copy each other, but the patterns

are quite different from A’s, you observe. I shall refer to these

again presently, but we will turn them face down now.

“Here, thrown up ten sizes, are the natal autographs of the

two persons who are here before you accused of murdering Judge Driscoll.

I made these pantograph copies last night, and will so

swear when I go upon the witness stand. I ask the jury to

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