“A new body?”
“He began to believe that, perhaps, a Healer could take another body, a healthy, unscarred body, and somehow place Mandor’s mind within it.”
“That’s impossible.”
“So they told him. Then he twisted that thought a little. He began to believe that his own body could be changed, into another form…”
“By a Shapeshifter? But, that’s foolish. A Shapeshifter can only change himself, into a fustigar, perhaps, of a nighthorse, or some other animal shape. Shapeshifters cannot take human form other than their own.”
“Mavin is said to do so.”
“Said to do so. And, what difference, said or real? Does he mean to have Mavin pretend to be Mandor? Take Mandor’s shape? Move about as Mandor while Mandor stands in his Tower room and pulls the strings?”
“It was his intention to have me Read him, guide the Shapeshifter in changing, guide one to take not only the form, but also the thought…”
“To have you what? Read Mandor and the ‘shifter at the same time? To somehow impress one upon the other? That’s evil nonsense. Where did he get such an idea?”
“Out of desperation,” said Huld. “Out of fury and pain and refusal to die or to live as he is.”
“And what would happen to Mavin, did she come? Would she be one more Gamesman used up, lost in play? As I would have been lost in play?”
Huld flushed, only a little. “All of us are lost sooner or later. It has never been tried. Who is to say it would not work.”
I sneered. “If I were Mavin put to such a test, I would try my best to shift into the form of a waddle-hog.”
“She would not if she cared for you, or cared for Mertyn. For, if she did, you would die, and Mertyn as well, and all others whom she might hold dear.” He was hard as metal. For the first time I realized that he was quite serious. He might not believe in it, but he intended to do what he could to make it happen. I turned from him, sickened. He went on as though he had not noticed. “Unfortunately, you do not know where Mavin is, or even whether she still lives. Which means we cannot use you to find her. However, it is probable that Mertyn knows, and we do know where he is.”
I left him there, unable to bear any more of his talk, his quiet exposition of villainy, treachery, and evil. It was Talisman to King’s Blood One if Mertyn did not love me, Talisman to King’s Blood Ten if he did. We were thalani, and I had never known it. Did he love me? Since that was the condition which would lead to the most pain and confusion, undoubtedly he did. Had Yarrel been with me, he would have accused me of cynicism. What I felt was utter despair, which was not lightened when I found a letter from Mandor on my bed. It was not long.
As Mertyn’s love for you led him to protect you, so was I turned into this
monster. So, let his love for you be used to turn me back again…
You are not Gamesman, now or ever. You are pawn, mine, to throw into the
Game as I will. Mavin will come, or you will die…
I laughed until the tears ran down my face. So Mandor had not thought such a treacherous thing, according to Huld. By the seven hells and the hundred devils, he had done. He had thought every wickedness, every pain which could be put upon me, and he was bound by his rakshasa to bind me with each one and every one until I was dead. Well, if I were dead, they could not put anything upon me. I left the room as silently as possible, creeping through the still halls to the twisting stair which led into the Tower. The stair went past Mandor’s rooms and on, up onto the parapet, twenty manheights above the rocks at the river’s edge. It was all I could think of which could be done swiftly, and I prayed that someone would know I had not killed myself out of dishonor. At Mandor’s door I paused. Huld’s voice was raised within, almost shouting, and I could hear it clearly. “And I tell you once more, Mandor, that he knows nothing of help to you, nothing. Do you think I would lie to you if there were any hope? Do you not dishonor yourself in this treacherous use of one who loved you? You dishonor me!”