him when Hector has knocked out his brains, I know
not; but, I am sure, none, unless the fiddler Apollo
get his sinews to make catlings on.
ACHILLES Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him straight.
THERSITES Let me bear another to his horse; for that’s the more
capable creature.
ACHILLES My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirr’d;
And I myself see not the bottom of it.
Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS
THERSITES Would the fountain of your mind were clear again,
that I might water an ass at it! I had rather be a
tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.
Exit
Act 4
Scene 1
Troy. A street.
Enter, from one side, AENEAS, and Servant with a torch; from the other, PARIS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, DIOMEDES, and others, with torches
PARIS See, ho! who is that there?
DEIPHOBUS It is the Lord AEneas.
AENEAS Is the prince there in person?
Had I so good occasion to lie long
As you, prince Paris, nothing but heavenly business
Should rob my bed-mate of my company.
DIOMEDES That’s my mind too. Good morrow, Lord AEneas.
PARIS A valiant Greek, AEneas,–take his hand,–
Witness the process of your speech, wherein
You told how Diomed, a whole week by days,
Did haunt you in the field.
AENEAS Health to you, valiant sir,
During all question of the gentle truce;
But when I meet you arm’d, as black defiance
As heart can think or courage execute.
DIOMEDES The one and other Diomed embraces.
Our bloods are now in calm; and, so long, health!
But when contention and occasion meet,
By Jove, I’ll play the hunter for thy life
With all my force, pursuit and policy.
AENEAS And thou shalt hunt a lion, that will fly
With his face backward. In humane gentleness,
Welcome to Troy! now, by Anchises’ life,
Welcome, indeed! By Venus’ hand I swear,
No man alive can love in such a sort
The thing he means to kill more excellently.
DIOMEDES We sympathize: Jove, let AEneas live,
If to my sword his fate be not the glory,
A thousand complete courses of the sun!
But, in mine emulous honour, let him die,
With every joint a wound, and that to-morrow!
AENEAS We know each other well.
DIOMEDES We do; and long to know each other worse.
PARIS This is the most despiteful gentle greeting,
The noblest hateful love, that e’er I heard of.
What business, lord, so early?
AENEAS I was sent for to the king; but why, I know not.
PARIS His purpose meets you: ’twas to bring this Greek
To Calchas’ house, and there to render him,
For the enfreed Antenor, the fair Cressid:
Let’s have your company, or, if you please,
Haste there before us: I constantly do think–
Or rather, call my thought a certain knowledge–
My brother Troilus lodges there to-night:
Rouse him and give him note of our approach.
With the whole quality wherefore: I fear
We shall be much unwelcome.
AENEAS That I assure you:
Troilus had rather Troy were borne to Greece
Than Cressid borne from Troy.
PARIS There is no help;
The bitter disposition of the time
Will have it so. On, lord; we’ll follow you.
AENEAS Good morrow, all.
Exit with Servant
PARIS And tell me, noble Diomed, faith, tell me true,
Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship,
Who, in your thoughts, merits fair Helen best,
Myself or Menelaus?
DIOMEDES Both alike:
He merits well to have her, that doth seek her,
Not making any scruple of her soilure,
With such a hell of pain and world of charge,
And you as well to keep her, that defend her,
Not palating the taste of her dishonour,
With such a costly loss of wealth and friends:
He, like a puling cuckold, would drink up
The lees and dregs of a flat tamed piece;
You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins
Are pleased to breed out your inheritors:
Both merits poised, each weighs nor less nor more;
But he as he, the heavier for a whore.
PARIS You are too bitter to your countrywoman.
DIOMEDES She’s bitter to her country: hear me, Paris:
For every false drop in her bawdy veins
A Grecian’s life hath sunk; for every scruple
Of her contaminated carrion weight,
A Trojan hath been slain: since she could speak,
She hath not given so many good words breath
As for her Greeks and Trojans suffer’d death.
PARIS Fair Diomed, you do as chapmen do,
Dispraise the thing that you desire to buy:
But we in silence hold this virtue well,
We’ll but commend what we intend to sell.
Here lies our way.
Exeunt
Scene 2
The same. Court of Pandarus’ house.
Enter TROILUS and CRESSIDA
TROILUS Dear, trouble not yourself: the morn is cold.
CRESSIDA Then, sweet my lord, I’ll call mine uncle down;
He shall unbolt the gates.
TROILUS Trouble him not;
To bed, to bed: sleep kill those pretty eyes,
And give as soft attachment to thy senses
As infants’ empty of all thought!
CRESSIDA Good morrow, then.
TROILUS I prithee now, to bed.
CRESSIDA Are you a-weary of me?
TROILUS O Cressida! but that the busy day,
Waked by the lark, hath roused the ribald crows,
And dreaming night will hide our joys no longer,
I would not from thee.
CRESSIDA Night hath been too brief.
TROILUS Beshrew the witch! with venomous wights she stays
As tediously as hell, but flies the grasps of love
With wings more momentary-swift than thought.
You will catch cold, and curse me.
CRESSIDA Prithee, tarry:
You men will never tarry.
O foolish Cressid! I might have still held off,
And then you would have tarried. Hark!
there’s one up.
PANDARUS [Within]
What, ‘s all the doors open here?
TROILUS It is your uncle.
CRESSIDA A pestilence on him! now will he be mocking:
I shall have such a life!
Enter PANDARUS
PANDARUS How now, how now! how go maidenheads? Here, you
maid! where’s my cousin Cressid?
CRESSIDA Go hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle!
You bring me to do, and then you flout me too.
PANDARUS To do what? to do what? let her say
what: what have I brought you to do?
CRESSIDA Come, come, beshrew your heart! you’ll ne’er be good,
Nor suffer others.
PANDARUS Ha! ha! Alas, poor wretch! ah, poor capocchia!
hast not slept to-night? would he not, a naughty
man, let it sleep? a bugbear take him!
CRESSIDA Did not I tell you? Would he were knock’d i’ the head!
Knocking within
Who’s that at door? good uncle, go and see.
My lord, come you again into my chamber:
You smile and mock me, as if I meant naughtily.
TROILUS Ha, ha!
CRESSIDA Come, you are deceived, I think of no such thing.
Knocking within
How earnestly they knock! Pray you, come in:
I would not for half Troy have you seen here.
Exeunt TROILUS and CRESSIDA
PANDARUS Who’s there? what’s the matter? will you beat
down the door? How now! what’s the matter?
Enter AENEAS
AENEAS Good morrow, lord, good morrow.
PANDARUS Who’s there? my Lord AEneas! By my troth,
I knew you not: what news with you so early?
AENEAS Is not Prince Troilus here?
PANDARUS Here! what should he do here?
AENEAS Come, he is here, my lord; do not deny him:
It doth import him much to speak with me.
PANDARUS Is he here, say you? ’tis more than I know, I’ll
be sworn: for my own part, I came in late. What
should he do here?
AENEAS Who!–nay, then: come, come, you’ll do him wrong
ere you’re ware: you’ll be so true to him, to be
false to him: do not you know of him, but yet go
fetch him hither; go.
Re-enter TROILUS
TROILUS How now! what’s the matter?
AENEAS My lord, I scarce have leisure to salute you,
My matter is so rash: there is at hand
Paris your brother, and Deiphobus,
The Grecian Diomed, and our Antenor
Deliver’d to us; and for him forthwith,
Ere the first sacrifice, within this hour,
We must give up to Diomedes’ hand
The Lady Cressida.
TROILUS Is it so concluded?
AENEAS By Priam and the general state of Troy:
They are at hand and ready to effect it.
TROILUS How my achievements mock me!
I will go meet them: and, my Lord AEneas,
We met by chance; you did not find me here.
AENEAS Good, good, my lord; the secrets of nature
Have not more gift in taciturnity.
Exeunt TROILUS and AENEAS
PANDARUS Is’t possible? no sooner got but lost? The devil
take Antenor! the young prince will go mad: a
plague upon Antenor! I would they had broke ‘s neck!
Re-enter CRESSIDA
CRESSIDA How now! what’s the matter? who was here?
PANDARUS Ah, ah!
CRESSIDA Why sigh you so profoundly? where’s my lord? gone!
Tell me, sweet uncle, what’s the matter?
PANDARUS Would I were as deep under the earth as I am above!
CRESSIDA O the gods! what’s the matter?