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Christian Science by Mark Twain

embarrassing appeal to the intellect, has no occasion to do it, and can

get along quite well without it.

Provided. Provided what? That it can secure that thing which is worth

two or three hundred thousand times more than an “appeal to the

intellect”–an environment. Can it get that? Will it be a menace to

regular Christianity if it gets that? Is it time for regular

Christianity to get alarmed? Or shall regular Christianity smile a smile

and turn over and take another nap? Won’t it be wise and proper for

regular Christianity to do the old way, Me customary way, the historical

way–lock the stable-door after the horse is gone? Just as Protestantism

has smiled and nodded this long time (while the alert and diligent

Catholic was slipping in and capturing the public schools), and is now

beginning to hunt around for the key when it is too late?

Will Christian Science get a chance to show its wares? It has already

secured that chance. Will it flourish and spread and prosper if it shall

create for itself the one thing essential to those conditions–an

environment? It has already created an environment. There are families

of Christian Scientists in every community in America, and each family is

a factory; each family turns out a Christian Science product at the

customary intervals, and contributes it to the Cause in the only way in

which contributions of recruits to Churches are ever made on a large

scale–by the puissant forces of personal contact and association. Each

family is an agency for the Cause, and makes converts among the

neighbors, and starts some more factories.

Four years ago there were six Christian Scientists in a certain town that

I am acquainted with; a year ago there were two hundred and fifty there;

they have built a church, and its membership now numbers four hundred.

This has all been quietly done; done without frenzied revivals, without

uniforms, brass bands, street parades, corner oratory, or any of the

other customary persuasions to a godly life. Christian Science, like

Mohammedanism, is “restricted” to the “unintelligent, the people who do

not think.” There lies the danger. It makes Christian Science

formidable. It is “restricted” to ninety-nine one-hundredths of the

human race, and must be reckoned with by regular Christianity. And will

be, as soon as it is too late.

BOOK II

There were remarkable things about the stranger called the Man–Mystery-

things so very extraordinary that they monopolized attention and made all

of him seem extraordinary; but this was not so, the most of his qualities

being of the common, every-day size and like anybody else’s. It was

curious. He was of the ordinary stature, and had the ordinary aspects;

yet in him were hidden such strange contradictions and disproportions!

He was majestically fearless and heroic; he had the strength of thirty

men and the daring of thirty thousand; handling armies, organizing

states, administering governments–these were pastimes to him; he

publicly and ostentatiously accepted the human race at its own valuation-

-as demigods–and privately and successfully dealt with it at quite

another and juster valuation–as children and slaves; his ambitions were

stupendous, and his dreams had no commerce with the humble plain, but

moved with the cloud-rack among the snow-summits. These features of him

were, indeed, extraordinary, but the rest of him was ordinary and usual.

He was so mean-minded, in the matter of jealousy, that it was thought he

was descended from a god; he was vain in little ways, and had a pride in

trivialities; he doted on ballads about moonshine and bruised hearts; in

education he was deficient, he was indifferent to literature, and knew

nothing of art; he was dumb upon all subjects but one, indifferent to all

except that one–the Nebular Theory. Upon that one his flow of words was

full and free, he was a geyser. The official astronomers disputed his

facts and deeded his views, and said that he had invented both, they not

being findable in any of the books. But many of the laity, who wanted

their nebulosities fresh, admired his doctrine and adopted it, and it

attained to great prosperity in spite of the hostility of the experts.”–

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Categories: Twain, Mark
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