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Christian Science by Mark Twain

procession if his remarks had been unsatisfactory to it.

It may be that there is evidence somewhere–as has been claimed–that

Mrs. Eddy has charged upon the Deity the verbal authorship of Science and

Health. But if she ever made the charge, she has withdrawn it (as it

seems to me), and in the most formal and unqualified; of all ways. See

Autobiography, page 57:

“When the demand for this book increased . . . the copyright was

infringed. I entered a suit at Law, and my copyright was protected.”

Thus it is plain that she did not plead that the Deity was the (verbal)

Author; for if she had done that, she would have lost her case–and with

rude promptness. It was in the old days before the Berne Convention and

before the passage of our amended law of 1891, and the court would have

quoted the following stern clause from the existing statute and frowned

her out of the place:

“No Foreigner can acquire copyright in the United States.”

To sum up. The evidence before me indicates three things:

1. That Mrs. Eddy claims the verbal author ship for herself.

2. That she denies it to the Deity.

3. That–in her belief–she wrote the book under the inspiration of the

Deity, but furnished the language herself.

In one place in the Autobiography she claims both the language and the

ideas; but when this witness is testifying, one must draw the line

somewhere, or she will prove both sides of her case-nine sides, if

desired.

It is too true. Much too true. Many, many times too true. She is a

most trying witness–the most trying witness that ever kissed the Book, I

am sure. There is no keeping up with her erratic testimony. As soon as

you have got her share of the authorship nailed where you half hope and

half believe it will stay and cannot be joggled loose any more, she

joggles it loose again–or seems to; you cannot be sure, for her habit of

dealing in meaningless metaphors instead of in plain, straightforward

statistics, makes it nearly always impossible to tell just what it is she

is trying to say. She was definite when she claimed both the language

and the ideas of the book. That seemed to settle the matter. It seemed

to distribute the percentages of credit with precision between the

collaborators: ninety-two per cent. to Mrs. Eddy, who did all the work,

and eight per cent. to the Deity, who furnished the inspiration not

enough of it to damage the copyright in a country closed against

Foreigners, and yet plenty to advertise the book and market it at famine

rates. Then Mrs. Eddy does not keep still, but fetches around and comes

forward and testifies again. It is most injudicious. For she resorts to

metaphor this time, and it makes trouble, for she seems to reverse the

percentages and claim only the eight per cent. for her self. I quote

from Mr. Peabody’s book (Eddyism, or Christian Science. Boston: 15 Court

Square, price twenty-five cents):

“Speaking of this book, Mrs. Eddy, in January last (I901) said: ‘I should

blush to write of Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures, as I

have, were it of human origin, and I, apart from God, its author; but as

I was only a scribe echoing the harmonies of Heaven in divine

metaphysics, I cannot be supermodest of the Christian Science text-

book.”‘

Mr. Peabody’s comment:

“Nothing could be plainer than that. Here is a distinct avowal that the

book entitled Science and Health was the work of Almighty God.”

It does seem to amount to that. She was only a “scribe.” Confound the

word, it is just a confusion, it has no determinable meaning there, it

leaves us in the air. A scribe is merely a person who writes. He may be

a copyist, he may be an amanuensis, he may be a writer of originals, and

furnish both the language and the ideas. As usual with Mrs. Eddy, the

connection affords no help–“echoing” throws no light upon “scribe.” A

rock can reflect an echo, a wall can do it, a mountain can do it, many

things can do it, but a scribe can’t. A scribe that could reflect an

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Categories: Twain, Mark
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