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Christian Science by Mark Twain

time and no expense of mental effort she clarifies it from lid to lid,

reorganizes and improves the meanings, then authoritatively settles and

establishes them with formulas which you cannot tell from “Let there be

light!” and “Here you have it!” It is the first time since the dawn-days

of Creation that a Voice has gone crashing through space with such placid

and complacent confidence and command.

[January, 1903. The first reading of any book whose terminology is

new and strange is nearly sure to leave the reader in a bewildered and

sarcastic state of mind. But now that, during the past two months, I

have, by diligence gained a fair acquaintanceship with Science and Health

technicalities, I no longer find the bulk of that work hard to

understand.–M. T.]

P.S. The wisdom harvested from the foregoing thoughts has already done

me a service and saved me a sorrow. Nearly a month ago there came to me

from one of the universities a tract by Dr. Edward Anthony Spitzka on

the “Encephalic Anatomy of the Races.” I judged that my opinion was

desired by the university, and I was greatly pleased with this attention

and wrote and said I would furnish it as soon as I could. That night I

put my plodding and disheartening Christian Science mining aside and took

hold of the matter. I wrote an eager chapter, and was expecting to

finish my opinion the next day, but was called away for a week, and my

mind was soon charged with other interests. It was not until to-day,

after the lapse of nearly a month, that I happened upon my Encephalic

chapter again. Meantime, the new wisdom had come to me, and I read it

with shame. I recognized that I had entered upon that work in far from

the right temper –far from the respectful and judicial spirit which was

its due of reverence. I had begun upon it with the following paragraph

for fuel:

“FISSURES OF THE PARIETAL AND OCCIPITAL LOBES (LATERAL SURFACE).–The

Postcentral Fissural Complex–In this hemicerebrum, the postcentral and

subcentral are combined to form a continuous fissure, attaining a length

of 8.5 cm. Dorsally, the fissure bifurcates, embracing the gyre indented

by the caudal limb of the paracentral. The caudal limb of the

postcentral is joined by a transparietal piece. In all, five additional

rami spring from the combined fissure. A vadum separates it from the

parietal; another from the central.”

It humiliates me, now, to see how angry I got over that; and how

scornful. I said that the style was disgraceful; that it was labored and

tumultuous, and in places violent, that the treatment was involved and

erratic, and almost, as a rule, bewildering; that to lack of simplicity

was added a lack of vocabulary; that there was quite too much feeling

shown; that if I had a dog that would get so excited and incoherent over

a tranquil subject like Encephalic Anatomy I would not pay his tax; and

at that point I got excited myself and spoke bitterly of these mongrel

insanities, and said a person might as well try to understand Science and

Health.

[I know, now, where the trouble was, and am glad of the interruption that

saved me from sending my verdict to the university. It makes me cold to

think what those people might have thought of me.–M. T.]

CHAPTER IV

No one doubts–certainly not I–that the mind exercises a powerful

influence over the body. From the beginning of time, the sorcerer, the

interpreter of dreams, the fortune-teller, the charlatan, the quack, the

wild medicine-man, the educated physician, the mesmerist, and the

hypnotist have made use of the client’s imagination to help them in their

work. They have all recognized the potency and availability of that

force. Physicians cure many patients with a bread pill; they know that

where the disease is only a fancy, the patient’s confidence in the doctor

will make the bread pill effective.

Faith in the doctor. Perhaps that is the entire thing. It seems to look

like it. In old times the King cured the king’s evil by the touch of the

royal hand. He frequently made extraordinary cures. Could his footman

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