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Christian Science by Mark Twain

Were had been a Moses at one time, and only one; there had been a Jesus

at one time, and only one; there is a Mary and “only one.” She is not a

Has Been, she is an Is–the “Author of Science and Health; and we cannot

ignore her.”

1. In 1890, there was but one Mother Mary. The President said so.

2. Mrs. Eddy was that one. She said so, in signing the telegram.

3. Mrs. Eddy was not that one for she says so, in her Associated Press

utterance of January 17th.

4. And has “never claimed to be “that one–unless the signature to the

telegram is a claim.

Thus it stands proven and established that she is that Mary and isn’t,

and thought she was and knows she wasn’t. That much is clear.

She is also “The Mother,” by the election of 1895, and did not want the

title, and thinks it is not applicable to her, end will excommunicate any

one that tries to take it away from her. So that is clear.

I think that the only really troublesome confusion connected with these

particular matters has arisen from the name Mary. Much vexation, much

misunderstanding, could have been avoided if Mrs. Eddy had used some of

her other names in place of that one. “Mother Mary” was certain to stir

up discussion. It would have been much better if she had signed the

telegram “Mother Baker”; then there would have been no Biblical

competition, and, of course, that is a thing to avoid. But it is not too

late, yet.

I wish to break in here with a parenthesis, and then take up this

examination of Mrs. Eddy’s Claim of January 17th again.

The history of her “Mother Mary” telegram–as told to me by one who ought

to be a very good authority–is curious and interesting. The telegram

ostensibly quotes verse 53 from the “Magnificat,” but really makes some

pretty formidable changes in it. This is St. Luke’s version:

“He hath filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He hath sent

empty away.”

This is “Mother Mary’s” telegraphed version:

“He hath filled the hungry with good things, and the sick hath He not

sent empty away.”

To judge by the Official Report, the bursting of this bombshell in that

massed convention of trained Christians created no astonishment, since it

caused no remark, and the business of the convention went tranquilly on,

thereafter, as if nothing had happened.

Did those people detect those changes? We cannot know. I think they

must have noticed them, the wording of St. Luke’s verse being as

familiar to all Christians as is the wording of the Beatitudes; and I

think that the reason the new version provoked no surprise and no comment

was, that the assemblage took it for a “Key”–a spiritualized explanation

of verse 53, newly sent down from heaven through Mrs. Eddy. For all

Scientists study their Bibles diligently, and they know their Magnificat.

I believe that their confidence in the authenticity of Mrs. Eddy’s

inspirations is so limitless and so firmly established that no change,

however violent, which she might make in a Bible text could disturb their

composure or provoke from them a protest.

Her improved rendition of verse 53 went into the convention’s report and

appeared in a New York paper the next day. The (at that time) Scientist

whom I mentioned a minute ago, and who had not been present at the

convention, saw it and marvelled; marvelled and was indignant–indignant

with the printer or the telegrapher, for making so careless and so

dreadful an error. And greatly distressed, too; for, of course, the

newspaper people would fall foul of it, and be sarcastic, and make fun of

it. and have a blithe time over it, and be properly thankful for the

chance. It shows how innocent he was; it shows that he did not know the

limitations of newspaper men in the matter of Biblical knowledge. The

new verse 53 raised no insurrection in the press; in fact, it was not

even remarked upon; I could have told him the boys would not know there

was anything the matter with it. I have been a newspaper man myself, and

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