Double Barrelled Detective by Mark Twain

anything. At least about his intentions, or line of business, or where

he’s from, and such things as that. And as for getting at the nature and

get-up of his main big chief mystery, why, he’ll just change the subject,

that’s all. You can guess till you’re black in the face–it’s your

privilege–but suppose you do, where do you arrive at? Nowhere, as near

as I can make out.”

“What is his big chief one?”

“Sight, maybe. Hearing, maybe. Instinct, maybe. Magic, maybe. Take

your choice–grownups, twenty-five; children and servants, half price.

Now I’ll tell you what he can do. You can start here, and just

disappear; you can go and hide wherever you want to, I don’t care where

it is, nor how far–and he’ll go straight and put his finger on you.”

“You don’t mean it!”

“I just do, though. Weather’s nothing to him–elemental conditions is

nothing to him–he don’t even take notice of them.”

“Oh, come! Dark? Rain? Snow? Hey?”

“It’s all the same to him. He don’t give a damn.”

“Oh, say–including fog, per’aps?”

“Fog! he’s got an eye ‘t can plunk through it like a bullet.”

“Now, boys, honor bright, what’s he giving me?”

“It’s a fact!” they all shouted. “Go on, Wells-Fargo.”

“Well, sir, you can leave him here, chatting with the boys, and you can

slip out and go to any cabin in this camp and open a book–yes, sir, a

dozen of them–and take the page in your memory, and he’ll start out and

go straight to that cabin and open every one of them books at the right

page, and call it off, and never make a mistake.”

“He must be the devil!”

“More than one has thought it. Now I’ll tell you a perfectly wonderful

thing that he done. The other night he–”

There was a sudden great murmur of sounds outside, the door flew open,

and an excited crowd burst in, with the camp’s one white woman in the

lead and crying:

“My child! my child! she’s lost and gone! For the love of God help me

to find Archy Stillman; we’ve hunted everywhere!”

Said the barkeeper:

“Sit down, sit down, Mrs. Hogan, and don’t worry. He asked for a bed

three hours ago, tuckered out tramping the trails the way he’s always

doing, and went up-stairs. Ham Sandwich, run up and roust him out; he’s

in No. 14.”

The youth was soon down-stairs and ready. He asked Mrs. Hogan for

particulars.

“Bless you, dear, there ain’t any; I wish there was. I put her to sleep

at seven in the evening, and when I went in there an hour ago to go to

bed myself, she was gone. I rushed for your cabin, dear, and you wasn’t

there, and I’ve hunted for you ever since, at every cabin down the gulch,

and now I’ve come up again, and I’m that distracted and scared and heart-

broke; but, thanks to God, I’ve found you at last, dear heart, and you’ll

find my child. Come on! come quick!”

“Move right along; I’m with you, madam. Go to your cabin first.”

The whole company streamed out to join the hunt. All the southern half

of the village was up, a hundred men strong, and waiting outside, a vague

dark mass sprinkled with twinkling lanterns. The mass fell into columns

by threes and fours to accommodate itself to the narrow road, and strode

briskly along southward in the wake of the leaders. In a few minutes the

Hogan cabin was reached.

“There’s the bunk,” said Mrs. Hogan; “there’s where she was; it’s where

I laid her at seven o’clock; but where she is now, God only knows.”

“Hand me a lantern,” said Archy. He set it on the hard earth floor and

knelt by it, pretending to examine the ground closely. “Here’s her

track,” he said, touching the ground here and there and yonder with his

finger. “Do you see?”

Several of the company dropped upon their knees and did their best to

see. One or two thought they discerned something like a track; the

others shook their heads and confessed that the smooth hard surface had

no marks upon it which their eyes were sharp enough to discover. One

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