Double Barrelled Detective by Mark Twain

he sets his grip there they’ve got to squeal, and don’t you forget it.”

“Boys, I ain’t sorry, now, that he wasn’t here to roust out the child;

this is a bigger thing, by a long sight. Yes, sir, and more tangled up

and scientific and intellectual.”

“I reckon we’re all of us glad it’s turned out this way. Glad? ‘George!

it ain’t any name for it. Dontchuknow, Archy could ‘ve learnt something

if he’d had the nous to stand by and take notice of how that man works

the system. But no; he went poking up into the chaparral and just missed

the whole thing.”

“It’s true as gospel; I seen it myself. Well, Archy’s young. He’ll know

better one of these days.”

“Say, boys, who do you reckon done it?”

That was a difficult question, and brought out a world of unsatisfying

conjecture. Various men were mentioned as possibilities, but one by one

they were discarded as not being eligible. No one but young Hillyer had

been intimate with Flint Buckner; no one had really had a quarrel with

him; he had affronted every man who had tried to make up to him, although

not quite offensively enough to require bloodshed. There was one name

that was upon every tongue from the start, but it was the last to get

utterance–Fetlock Jones’s. It was Pat Riley that mentioned it.

“Oh, well,” the boys said, “of course we’ve all thought of him, because

he had a million rights to kill Flint Buckner, and it was just his plain

duty to do it. But all the same there’s two things we can’t get around:

for one thing, he hasn’t got the sand; and for another, he wasn’t

anywhere near the place when it happened.”

“I know it,” said Pat. “He was there in the billiard-room with us when

it happened.”

“Yes, and was there all the time for an hour before it happened.”

“It’s so. And lucky for him, too. He’d have been suspected in a minute

if it hadn’t been for that.”

III

The tavern dining-room had been cleared of all its furniture save one

six-foot pine table and a chair. This table was against one end of the

room; the chair was on it; Sherlock Holmes, stately, imposing,

impressive, sat in the chair. The public stood. The room was full. The

tobacco-smoke was dense, the stillness profound.

The Extraordinary Man raised his hand to command additional silence; held

it in the air a few moments; then, in brief, crisp terms he put forward

question after question, and noted the answers with “Um-ums,” nods of the

head, and so on. By this process he learned all about Flint Buckner,

his character, conduct, and habits, that the people were able to tell

him. It thus transpired that the Extraordinary Man’s nephew was the only

person in the camp who had a killing-grudge against Flint Buckner.

Mr. Holmes smiled compassionately upon the witness, and asked, languidly:

“Do any of you gentlemen chance to know where the lad Fetlock Jones was

at the time of the explosion?”

A thunderous response followed:

“In the billiard-room of this house!”

“Ah. And had he just come in?”

“Been there all of an hour!”

“Ah. It is about–about–well, about how far might it be to the scene of

the explosions”

“All of a mile!”

“Ah. It isn’t much of an alibi, ’tis true, but–”

A storm-burst of laughter, mingled with shouts of “By jiminy, but he’s

chain-lightning!” and “Ain’t you sorry you spoke, Sandy?” shut off the

rest of the sentence, and the crushed witness drooped his blushing face

in pathetic shame. The inquisitor resumed:

“The lad Jones’s somewhat distant connection with the case” (laughter)

“having been disposed of, let us now call the eye-witnesses of the

tragedy, and listen to what they have to say.”

He got out his fragmentary clues and arranged them on a sheet of

cardboard on his knee. The house held its breath and watched.

“We have the longitude and the latitude, corrected for magnetic

variation, and this gives us the exact location of the tragedy. We have

the altitude, the temperature, and the degree of humidity prevailing–

inestimably valuable, since they enable us to estimate with precision the

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