Double Barrelled Detective by Mark Twain

want to provoke scorn or envy or jealousy. It is a great and fine

distinction which has been born to you, and I am glad; but you will keep

it a secret, for mamma’s sake, won’t you?”

The child promised, without understanding.

All the rest of the day the mother’s brain was busy with excited

thinkings; with plans, projects, schemes, each and all of them uncanny,

grim, and dark. Yet they lit up her face; lit it with a fell light of

their own; lit it with vague fires of hell. She was in a fever of

unrest; she could not sit, stand, read, sew; there was no relief for her

but in movement. She tested her boy’s gift in twenty ways, and kept

saying to herself all the time, with her mind in the past: “He broke my

father’s heart, and night and day all these years I have tried, and all

in vain, to think out a way to break his. I have found it now–I have

found it now.”

When night fell, the demon of unrest still possessed her. She went on

with her tests; with a candle she traversed the house from garret to

cellar, hiding pins, needles, thimbles, spools, under pillows, under

carpets, in cracks in the walls, under the coal in the bin; then sent the

little fellow in the dark to find them; which he did, and was happy and

proud when she praised him and smothered him with caresses.

From this time forward life took on a new complexion for her. She said,

“The future is secure–I can wait, and enjoy the waiting.” The most of

her lost interests revived. She took up music again, and languages,

drawing, painting, and the other long-discarded delights of her

maidenhood. She was happy once more, and felt again the zest of life.

As the years drifted by she watched the development of her boy, and was

contented with it. Not altogether, but nearly that. The soft side of

his heart was larger than the other side of it. It was his only defect,

in her eyes. But she considered that his love for her and worship of her

made up for it. He was a good hater–that was well; but it was a

question if the materials of his hatreds were of as tough and enduring a

quality as those of his friendships–and that was not so well.

The years drifted on. Archy was become a handsome, shapely, athletic

youth, courteous, dignified, companionable, pleasant in his ways, and

looking perhaps a trifle older than he was, which was sixteen. One

evening his mother said she had something of grave importance to say to

him, adding that he was old enough to hear it now, and old enough and

possessed of character enough and stability enough to carry out a stern

plan which she had been for years contriving and maturing. Then she told

him her bitter story, in all its naked atrociousness. For a while the

boy was paralyzed; then he said:

“I understand. We are Southerners; and by our custom and nature there is

but one atonement. I will search him out and kill him.”

“Kill him? No! Death is release, emancipation; death is a favor. Do I

owe him favors? You must not hurt a hair of his head.”

The boy was lost in thought awhile; then he said:

“You are all the world to me, and your desire is my law and my pleasure.

Tell me what to do and I will do it.”

The mother’s eyes beamed with satisfaction, and she said:

“You will go and find him. I have known his hiding-place for eleven

years; it cost me five years and more of inquiry, and much money, to

locate it. He is a quartz-miner in Colorado, and well-to-do. He lives

in Denver. His name is Jacob Fuller. There–it is the first time I have

spoken it since that unforgettable night. Think! That name could have

been yours if I had not saved you that shame and furnished you a cleaner

one. You will drive him from that place; you will hunt him down and

drive him again; and yet again, and again, and again, persistently,

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