Double Barrelled Detective by Mark Twain

good light–so that I can see your feet.”

A buzz of excitement swept the place, and the march began, the guest

looking on with an iron attempt at gravity which was not an unqualified

success. Stillman stooped, shaded his eyes with his hand, and gazed down

intently at each pair of feet as it passed. Fifty men tramped

monotonously by–with no result. Sixty. Seventy. The thing was

beginning to look absurd. The guest remarked, with suave irony:

“Assassins appear to be scarce this evening.”

The house saw the humor if it, and refreshed itself with a cordial laugh.

Ten or twelve more candidates tramped by–no, danced by, with airy and

ridiculous capers which convulsed the spectators–then suddenly Stillman

put out his hand and said:

“This is the assassin!”

“Fetlock Jones, by the great Sanhedrim!” roared the crowd; and at once

let fly a pyrotechnic explosion and dazzle and confusion of stirring

remarks inspired by the situation.

At the height of the turmoil the guest stretched out his hand, commanding

peace. The authority of a great name and a great personality laid its

mysterious compulsion upon the house, and it obeyed. Out of the panting

calm which succeeded, the guest spoke, saying, with dignity and feeling:

“This is serious. It strikes at an innocent life. Innocent beyond

suspicion! Innocent beyond peradventure! Hear me prove it; observe how

simple a fact can brush out of existence this witless lie. Listen. My

friends, that lad was never out of my sight yesterday evening at any

time!”

It made a deep impression. Men turned their eyes upon Stillman with

grave inquiry in them. His face brightened, and he said:

“I knew there was another one!” He stepped briskly to the table and

glanced at the guest’s feet, then up at his face, and said: “You were

with him! You were not fifty steps from him when he lit the candle that

by and by fired the powder!” (Sensation.) “And what is more, you

furnished the matches yourself!”

Plainly the guest seemed hit; it looked so to the public. He opened his

mouth to speak; the words did not come freely.

“This–er–this is insanity–this–”

Stillman pressed his evident advantage home. He held up a charred match.

“Here is one of them. I found it in the barrel–and there’s another one

there.”

The guest found his voice at once.

“Yes–and put them there yourself!”

It was recognized a good shot. Stillman retorted.

“It is wax–a breed unknown to this camp. I am ready to be searched for

the box. Are you?”

The guest was staggered this time–the dullest eye could see it. He

fumbled with his hands; once or twice his lips moved, but the words did

not come. The house waited and watched, in tense suspense, the stillness

adding effect to the situation. Presently Stillman said, gently:

“We are waiting for your decision.”

There was silence again during several moments; then the guest answered,

in a low voice:

“I refuse to be searched.”

There was no noisy demonstration, but all about the house one voice after

another muttered:

“That settles it! He’s Archy’s meat.”

What to do now? Nobody seemed to know. It was an embarrassing situation

for the moment–merely, of course, because matters had taken such a

sudden and unexpected turn that these unpractised minds were not prepared

for it, and had come to a standstill, like a stopped clock, under the

shock. But after a little the machinery began to work again,

tentatively, and by twos and threes the men put their heads together and

privately buzzed over this and that and the other proposition. One of

these propositions met with much favor; it was, to confer upon the

assassin a vote of thanks for removing Flint Buckner, and let him go.

But the cooler heads opposed it, pointing out that addled brains in the

Eastern states would pronounce it a scandal, and make no end of foolish

noise about it. Finally the cool heads got the upper hand, and obtained

general consent to a proposition of their own; their leader then called

the house to order and stated it–to this effect: that Fetlock Jones be

jailed and put upon trial.

The motion was carried. Apparently there was nothing further to do now,

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *