Double Barrelled Detective by Mark Twain

thinking–away down, down, forty fathom into the bowels of things. He’s

on the track of something.”

“Well, he is, and don’t you forget it. Say–look at that awful gravity–

look at that pallid solemness–there ain’t any corpse can lay over it.”

“No, sir, not for dollars! And it’s his’n by hereditary rights, too;

he’s been dead four times a’ready, and there’s history for it. Three

times natural, once by accident. I’ve heard say he smells damp and cold,

like a grave. And he–”

“‘Sh! Watch him! There–he’s got his thumb on the bump on the near

corner of his forehead, and his forefinger on the off one. His think-

works is just a-grinding now, you bet your other shirt.”

“That’s so. And now he’s gazing up toward heaven and stroking his

mustache slow, and–”

“Now he has rose up standing, and is putting his clues together on his

left fingers with his right finger. See? he touches the forefinger–now

middle finger–now ring-finger–”

“Stuck!”

“Look at him scowl! He can’t seem to make out that clue. So he–”

“See him smile!–like a tiger–and tally off the other fingers like

nothing! He’s got it, boys; he’s got it sure!”

“Well, I should say! I’d hate to be in that man’s place that he’s

after.”

Mr. Holmes drew a table to the window, sat down with his back to the

spies, and proceeded to write. The spies withdrew their eyes from the

peep-holes, lit their pipes, and settled themselves for a comfortable

smoke and talk. Ferguson said, with conviction:

“Boys, it’s no use talking, he’s a wonder! He’s got the signs of it all

over him.”

“You hain’t ever said a truer word than that, Wells-Fargo,” said Jake

Parker. “Say, wouldn’t it ‘a’ been nuts if he’d a-been here last night?”

“Oh, by George, but wouldn’t it!” said Ferguson. “Then we’d have seen

scientific work. Intellect–just pure intellect–away up on the upper

levels, dontchuknow. Archy is all right, and it don’t become anybody to

belittle him, I can tell you. But his gift is only just eyesight, sharp

as an owl’s, as near as I can make it out just a grand natural animal

talent, no more, no less, and prime as far as it goes, but no intellect

in it, and for awfulness and marvelousness no more to be compared to what

this man does than–than–Why, let me tell you what he’d have done. He’d

have stepped over to Hogan’s and glanced–just glanced, that’s all–at

the premises, and that’s enough. See everything? Yes, sir, to the last

little detail; and he’ll know more about that place than the Hogans would

know in seven years. Next, he would sit down on the bunk, just as ca’m,

and say to Mrs. Hogan–Say, Ham, consider that you are Mrs. Hogan. I’ll

ask the questions; you answer them.”

“All right; go on.”

“‘Madam, if you please–attention–do not let your mind wander. Now,

then–sex of the child?’

“‘Female, your Honor.’

“‘Um–female. Very good, very good. Age?’

“‘Turned six, your Honor.’

“‘Um–young, weak–two miles. Weariness will overtake it then. It will

sink down and sleep. We shall find it two miles away, or less. Teeth?’

“‘Five, your Honor, and one a-coming.’

“‘Very good, very good, very good, indeed.’ You see, boys, he knows a

clue when he sees it, when it wouldn’t mean a dern thing to anybody else.

‘Stockings, madam? Shoes?’

“‘Yes, your Honor–both.’

“‘Yarn, perhaps? Morocco?’

“‘Yarn, your Honor. And kip.’

“‘Um–kip. This complicates the matter. However, let it go–we shall

manage. Religion?’

“‘Catholic, your Honor.’

“‘Very good. Snip me a bit from the bed blanket, please. Ah, thanks.

Part wool–foreign make. Very well. A snip from some garment of the

child’s, please. Thanks. Cotton. Shows wear. An excellent clue,

excellent. Pass me a pallet of the floor dirt, if you’ll be so kind.

Thanks, many thanks. Ah, admirable, admirable! Now we know where we

are, I think.’ You see, boys, he’s got all the clues he wants now; he

don’t need anything more. Now, then, what does this Extraordinary Man

do? He lays those snips and that dirt out on the table and leans over

them on his elbows, and puts them together side by side and studies them

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