a bore. “Asharak the Murgo?” Really Chammy, I’m disappointed in
you.’ I looked at the confused-looking Queen of Nyissa. ‘Has he
been lying to you, Sally? You didn’t really believe him, did you?
“Asharak the Murgo” indeed! He’s worn the spots off that one in
most of the civilized world. Everybody knows that his name’s really
Chamdar, and that he’s Ctuchik’s favorite boot-licker. Chammy
here’s been living on a steady diet of boot-polish for over a thousand
years now.’
‘Who are you?’ Salmissra demanded. ‘And how dare you call me
by that absurd name?’
‘My name’s Polgara, Sally, and I’ll call you whatever I jolly-well
choose to call you.’ I dropped the light-hearted tone and delivered
that announcement with a definite hint of steel in it.
I could almost feel the narcotics draining out of her blood.
‘Polgara?’ she exclaimed.
‘She lies!’ Chamdar declared, his own voice slightly shrill and his
eyes going wild.
‘Oh, Chammy, how on earth would you know? You’ve been
searching for me for a thousand and more years, and you’ve never
once even seen me. If you’re the best Ctuchik can come up with,
my father’s been overstating the peril. I could delete you without
even working up an appetite.’ I knew that it was melodramatic to
the point of absurdity, but I leveled my forefinger slightly off to one
side of him and disintegrated a polished flagstone with a sizzling
thunderbolt. I’ve seldom done that, so perhaps I over-did it just a
bit. The fragments, all jagged and red-hot. sprayed the groveling
eunuchs, and they all immediately stopped being bored. They
scrambled away, squealing like terrified mice.
‘Oops,’ I said apologetically. ‘A little excessive, maybe. Sorry
about the floor tiles, Sally. Now, where was I? Oh yes, now I
remember.’ And I exploded several more flagstones in the general vicinity
Of Chamdar’s feet.
He began hopping around wildly. ‘There you are, Sally,’ I
drawled. ‘Murgos do know how to dance. All you have to do is give
them a bit of encouragement.’
‘Have you come here to kill me?’ Salmissra quavered.
‘Kill you? Good heavens no, Sally dear. You and I both know that
599
isn’t what I’m going to do to you.’ I made only the slightest move
with just one finger as I released my Will. What I was doing was
only an illusion, after all, so I didn’t have to wave both arms when
I did it. ‘Look in your mirror, Sally. That’s what I’m going to do
to whichever Salmissra is unlucky enough to make me cross with
her.’
Telling Salmissra – any Salmissra – to look in her mirror is almost
like telling water to run downhill. She took one look at the large
mirror beside her throne and screamed in absolute horror. Staring
back at her with unblinking eyes and a flickering tongue was a very
large, mottled snake. ‘No!’ the Serpent Queen shrieked, desperately
feeling her face, her hair, and her body with violently trembling
hands to assure herself that the hideous reflection wasn’t really what
she looked like. ‘Make it go away!’ she squealed.
‘Not just yet, Sally, dear,’ I said in my best frigid tone. ‘I want
you to remember that image. Now then, has Chammy here been
trying to foist his tired old promise off on you? You didn’t really
believe that Torak was going to marry you, did you?’
‘He told me so!’ Salmissra said, pointing an accusing finger at the
now shaken Grolim.
‘Oh, Chammy, Chammy, Chammy!’ I chided. ‘Whatever am I
going to do with you? You know that was a lie. You know perfectly
well that Torak’s heart belongs to another.’ I was gambling there of
course. I wasn’t entirely sure that Chamdar had been at Vo Mimbre.
‘Who is it that Torak loves?’ Salmissra demanded in a slightly
stricken voice. In spite of everything, I guess she still harbored some
hopes.
‘Who?’ I said. ‘My me of course, Sally. I thought everybody
knew that. He even proposed to me once, and it absolutely broke
his heart when I turned him down. Actually, that’s why he lost the
duel with Brand at Vo Mimbre. The poor dear only has one eye,
you know, and it was so full of tears of disappointment that he
didn’t even see Brand’s sword coming. Don’t you just love it when
your admirers fight duels with each other to prove their love? It’s
so romantic to see all that blood spurting. I just quivered all over
to see Torak standing there with that sword stuck right through his
head like that.’
I heard a broken sob, and I glanced quickly at Chamdar. The
Murgo was actually weeping! Of course Torak was his God.
‘Now, then, Sally, I think you’d better ask the fellow called Salas
what happened to the Salmissra who ordered the murder of the
Rivan King. If you believe Chammy’s lies you’ll be walking down”
the same path. If the alorns catch up with you, they’ll burn you at
the stake. Think about that and then take another look in your
mirror. It’s the stake or the snake, Sally, and that’s not really very
much of a choice, is it?’ Then I leveled that well-known ‘steely gaze’
at the still red-eyed Chamdar. ‘Chammy, you naughty, naughty boy!
Now you march right out of here and go back to Rak Cthol. Tell
Ctuchik that he’d better come up with something new, because this
one’s all worn out now. Oh, and give him my regards, will you?
Tell him that I yearn for the day of our meeting.’
‘But -‘ he started to protest.
‘You heard her, Chamdar!’ Salmissra snapped. ‘Get out of my
sight. And you’d better hurry. Your diplomatic immunity expires
in about a half an hour. and after that, there’ll be a sizeable price
on your head. Now get out!’
Chamdar fled.
‘Nice touch, there,’ I complimented Salmissra.
‘Can I really do that, Pol?’ she asked.
‘It’s your kingdom, dear,’ I assured her. ‘You can do anything
you want to do.’
‘Is it possible for you and me to be friends?’ she asked.
‘I think we already are,’ I said, smiling.
‘Then would you please get that awful snake out of my mirror?’
I spent several months in Sthiss Tor gradually leeching the
assorted narcotics out of Salmissra’s blood until she reached the
point of being able to think coherently. She was no mental giant, but
once she came out of that drug-induced fog, she began to function
rationally. The eunuchs who actually ran the government were more
than a little upset by my intervention, so one evening after Salmissra
had drifted off to sleep, I sent for Rissus, who probably wielded
more power than most of his cohorts – enough at any rate that he
had to take the usual precautions to keep them from poisoning
him. He seemed a bit apprehensive when he entered the garish
sitting-room of the Serpent Queen’s private apartment. ‘You wanted
to see me, Lady Polgara?’ he said in his eunuch’s contralto.
‘Yes, Rissus,’ I said. ‘I thought that you and I ought to have a
little chat.’
‘Of course, Lady Polgara.’
,I’m sure you’ve noticed the change that’s come over your queen.’
‘How could I miss it? You’ve got her completely under your
control. How did you manage to pull that off so quickly?’
‘I offered her friendship, Rissus. She’s a very lonely person, you
know.
‘How could she possibly be lonely? She’s got a whole stable of
pretty boys to entertain her.’
‘Salmissra needs friendship, Rissus, and there’s none of that
involved in her frolics with her pretty boys. She’s not brilliant by
any stretch of the imagination, but she’s clever enough to rule here
if you and Salas and some of the others advise her. Are you feeling
up to statesmanship, Rissus? Could you set aside your petty
scheming and the incidental poisonings of your rivals and concentrate on
actually making the government work?’
‘What an unnatural thing to suggest,’ he murmured.
‘Shocking, isn’t it?’ I agreed. ‘Here’s the way we’ll do it. I’ve had a
fair amount of experience in positions of power at times, and I’m going
to start reminiscing – telling Salmissra stories about how I managed
this or that crisis, the tedious business of coddling powerful nobles,
arranging the tax-code so that it didn’t generate an immediate
rebellion, and all the other tricks of running a government. The whole
idea will be to get Salmissra interested in the field of politics. Then,
when she starts asking questions, I’ll pretend to be unfamiliar with
Nyissan customs and suggest that she send for you. The whole idea
is to rather gently educate her to the point that she’s an adequate ruler.
From there, we’ll move on to letting her make decisions.’
He gave me a shrewd look. ‘Where’s the catch, Lady Polgara?’
he asked. ‘What’s in this for you?’
‘I want stability here in Nyissa, Rissus. There are things afoot that
you aren’t aware of, and they’re going to be fairly titanic. I don’t