Retief! By Keith Laumer

Retief put his elbow on the table. “I’ll give it a try.”

The two men hooked forefingers. The red-head poured a tumbler half full of rock juice, placed it atop the two fists. “OK, boys. Go!”

The man named Sam gritted his teeth; his biceps tensed; his knuckles grew white. The glass trembled. Then it moved—toward Retief. Sam hunched his shoulders, straining.

“That’s the stuff, Mister!”

“What’s the matter, Sam? You tired?”

The glass moved steadily closer to Retief’s face.

“A hundred the new man makes it!”

“Watch Sam; any minute now . . .”

The glass slowed, paused. Retief’s wrist twitched and the glass crashed to the table top. A shout went up. Sam leaned back with a sigh, massaging his hand.

“That’s some arm you got there, Mister,” he said. “If you hadn’t jumped just then . . .”

“I guess the drinks are on me,” Retief said.

Two hours later Retief’s Marsberry bottle stood empty on the table beside half a dozen others.

“We were lucky,” Sam Mancziewicz was saying. “You figure the original volume of the planet; say 245,000,000,000 cubic miles. The deBerry theory calls for a collapsed-crystal core no more than a mile in diameter. There’s your odds.”

“And you believe you’ve found a fragment of this core?”

“Damn right we have. Couple of million tons if it’s an ounce—and at three credits a ton delivered at Port Syrtis, we’re set for life. About time, too. Twenty years I’ve been in the Belt. Got two kids I haven’t seen for five years. Things are going to be different now.”

“Hey, Sam; tone it down. You don’t have to broadcast to every claim jumper in the Belt—”

“Our claim’s on file at the consulate,” Sam said. “As soon as we get the grant—”

“When’s that gonna be? We been waitin’ a week now.”

“I’ve never seen any collapsed-crystal metal,” Retief said. “I’d like to take a look at it.”

“Sure; come on, I’ll run you over. It’s about an hour’s run. We’ll take our skiff. You want to go along, Willy?”

“I got a bottle to go,” Willy said. “See you in the morning.”

The two men descended in the lift to the boat bay, suited up, and strapped into the cramped boat. A bored attendant cycled the launch doors, levered the release that propelled the skiff out and clear of the Jolly Barge Hotel. Retief caught a glimpse of a tower of lights spinning majestically against the black of space as the drive hurled the tiny boat away.

* * *

Retief’s feet sank ankle deep into the powdery surface that glinted like snow in the glare of the distant sun.

“It’s funny stuff,” Sam’s voice sounded in his ear. “Under a gee of gravity, you’d sink out of sight. The stuff cuts diamond like butter—but temperature changes break it down into a powder. A lot of it’s used just like this, as an industrial abrasive. Easy to load, too. Just drop a suction line and start pumping.”

“And this whole rock is made of the same material?”

“Sure is. We ran plenty of test bores, and a full schedule of soundings. I’ve got the reports back aboard Gertie—that’s our lighter.”

“And you’ve already loaded a cargo here?”

“Yep. We’re running out of capital fast. I need to get that cargo to port in a hurry—before the outfit goes into involuntary bankruptcy. With this strike, that’d be a crime. By the time the legal fees were paid off, we’d be broke again.”

“What do you know about General Minerals, Sam?”

“You thinking of hiring on with them? Better read the fine print in your contract before you sign. Sneakiest bunch this side of a burglar’s convention.”

“They own a chunk of rock known as 2645-P. Do you suppose we could find it?”

“Oh, you’re buying in, hey? Sure, we can find it. You damn sure want to look it over good if General Minerals is selling.”

Back aboard the skiff, Mancziewicz flipped the pages of the chart book, consulted a table. “Yep, she’s not too far off. Let’s go see what GM’s trying to unload . . .

* * *

The skiff hovered two miles from the giant boulder known as 2645-P. Retief and Mancziewicz looked it over at high magnification. “It don’t look like much, Retief,” Sam said. “Let’s go down and take a closer look.”

The boat dropped rapidly toward the scarred surface of the tiny world, a floating mountain, glaring black and white in the spotlight of the sun. Sam frowned at his instrument panel.

“That’s funny; my ion-counter is revving up. Looks like a drive trail, not more than an hour or two old. Somebody’s been here . . .”

The boat grounded. Retief and Sam got out. The stony surface was littered with rock fragments varying in size from pebbles to great slabs twenty feet long, tumbled in a loose bed of dust and sand. Retief pushed off gently, drifted up to a vantage point atop an upended wedge of rock. Sam joined him.

“This is all igneous stuff,” he said. “Not likely we’ll find much here that would pay the freight to Syrtis—unless maybe you lucked onto some Bodean artifacts. They bring plenty.”

He flipped a binocular in place as he talked, scanned the riven landscape. “Hey!” he said. “Over there . . .”

Retief followed Sam’s pointing glove. He studied the dark patch against a smooth expanse of eroded rock.

“A friend of mine came across a chunk of the old planetary surface two years ago,” Sam said thoughtfully. “Had a tunnel in it that’d been used as a storage depot by the Bodeans. Took out over two ton of hardware. Course, nobody’s discovered how the stuff works yet, but it brings top prices . . .”

“Looks like water erosion,” Retief said.

“Yep. This could be another piece of surface, all right. Could be a cave over there. The Bodeans liked caves, too. Must have been some war—but then, if it hadn’t been, they wouldn’t have tucked so much stuff away underground where it could weather the planetary break-up.”

They descended, crossed the jumbled rocks with light, thirty-foot leaps.

“It’s a cave, all right,” Sam said, stooping to peer into the five-foot bore. Retief followed him inside.

“Let’s get some light in here.” Mancziewicz flipped on a beam. It glinted back from dull polished surfaces of Bodean synthetic. Sam’s low whistle sounded in Retief’s headset.

“That’s funny,” Retief said.

“Funny, Hell! It’s hilarious. General Minerals trying to sell off a worthless rock to a tenderfoot—and it’s loaded with Bodean hardware. No telling how much is here; the tunnel seems to go quite a ways back. And there may be more caves around here—”

“That’s not what I mean. Do you notice your suit warming up?”

“Huh? Yeah, now that you mention it . . .”

Retief rapped with a gauntleted hand on the satiny black curve of the nearest Bodean artifact. It clunked dully through the suit. “That’s not metal,” he said. “It’s plastic.”

“There’s something fishy here,” Sam said. “This erosion; it looks more like a heat beam . . .”

“Sam,” Retief said, turning; “it appears to me somebody has gone to a great deal of trouble to give a false impression here—”

Sam snorted. “I told you they were a crafty bunch.” He started out of the cave, then paused, went to one knee to study the floor. “But maybe they outsmarted themselves,” he said, his voice tense with excitement. “Look here!”

Retief looked. Sam’s beam reflected from a fused surface of milky white, shot through with dirty yellow. He snapped a pointed instrument in place on his gauntlet, dug at one of the yellow streaks. It furrowed under the gouge, a particle adhering to the instrument. With his left hand, Mancziewicz opened a pouch clipped to his belt, carefully deposited the sample in a small orifice on the device in the pouch. He flipped a key, squinted at a dial.

“Atomic weight 197.2,” he said. Retief turned down the audio volume on his headset as Sam’s laughter rang in his helmet.

“Those clowns were out to stick you, Retief,” he gasped, still chuckling. “They salted the rock with a cave full of Bodean artifacts—”

“Fake Bodean artifacts,” Retief put in.

“They planed off the rock so it would look like an old beach, and then cut this cave with beamers. And they were boring through practically solid gold!”

“As good as that?”

Mancziewicz flashed the light around. “This stuff will assay out at a thousand credits a ton, easy. If the vein doesn’t run to five thousand tons, the beers are on me.” He snapped off the light. “Let’s get moving, Retief. You want to sew this deal up before they get around to taking another look at it.”

Back in the boat, Retief and Mancziewicz opened their helmets. “This calls for a drink,” Sam said, extracting a pressure flask from the map case. “This rock’s worth as much as mine, maybe more. You hit it lucky, Retief. Congratulations.” He thrust out a hand.

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