Retief! By Keith Laumer

The first of the newborn Rhoon was unsteadily on its feet now, trying out six short, unspecialized limbs, claw-tipped, the rear pair showing only knobby buds where later the rotating members would develop—a form not unlike the ten-million-year remote ancestor of all the Quopp tribes. The hatchling wobbled, steadied, then charged, jaws gaping. Retief sidestepped, noting that infant number two was now half clear of his prison, while number three was surveying the scene with interested eyes. Dull clunks and clangs attested to activity within the other three eggs.

The eldest infant managed to halt its rush just short of the cliff edge, teetered for a moment staring down into the awesome depths over which it would soar later in life, backed away, hissing, then remembered lunch and rushed Retief again in time to collide with younger brother, freshly on the scene. While the two tangled, squalling, Retief hastily maneuvered half a dozen scattered rocks in place to form a rude barricade, stationed himself behind it. The argument ended as a third young appetite shot past the combatants, zeroing in on the free lunch. The trio hit the barrier with a metallic crash, rebounded, came on again—and now there were four.

The beat of heavy rotors sounded above. Gerthudion, flanked by two immense males distinguished by gold and red cranial plumes, dropped in with a tornado of air that sent her young slithering and squawking across the rocky platform—and over the edge.

“Hey!” Retief called. “Your kids . . .”

The Rhoon settled in. “That’s all right; obnoxious creatures, those. It’s only the eggs I’m concerned about, their hatching to ensure. Anyway, they’ll be all right. It’s good experience. As for the call to war, we’re with you—”

A small head appeared over the edge; scrabbling claws pulled a hungry Rhoonlet up, the others close behind. Retief stepped to the giant parent, scaled the massive side and straddled the back just behind the head. “Let’s get moving,” he called over the pound of idling rotors. “I’m beginning to share your view of the younger generation.”

“As for your Terries,” Gerthudion honked, “Lundelia reports he’s seen such a group as you described near the village of the Herpp, a few miles west.”

“Then just drop me off there, if you don’t mind.”

The Rhoon leaped into the air, the backwash from her pounding rotors a howling typhoon.

“I’ll take you there,” she boomed over the uproar. “Then thereafter you’ll guide me to these ghoulish Voion, my vengeance to wreak.”

* * *

It was a swift flight from the chill altitudes of the rock spires down across rolling jungle to the bend of the river where the pinkish copperwood huts of the Herpp nestled in the shelter of the trees. Gerthudion settled in to a bouncy landing on a sand spit where there was clearance for her rotors, and Retief slid down, settled his sword belt into position for a quick draw, scanning the silent village with its neat wheelways, orderly flower beds, and colorful awnings.

“Nobody in sight, Gertie; I think the inhabitants beat a hasty retreat when they saw you coming.”

“Or mayhap they crouch behind their doorposts with drawn bows,” the flyer suggested.

“Yeah—mayhap. I guess there’s just one way to find out.” He walked across the sand, climbed a grassy bank, stood at the end of the village street beside a long table heaped with bright-colored fruits and fragments of husk—a task apparently hastily abandoned.

“I am Tief-tief,” he called. “And I dance the Dance of Friendly Intentions.”

There was a flicker of motion at a window. The polished tip of an arrow poked into view, followed by a pale blue head.

“I am Nop-Nee, and I dance the Dance of Fair Warning,” a squeaky-chalk voice piped.

“I’m looking for some friends of mine,” Retief called. “Don’t let Gerthudion bother you. She’s tame—”

The Rhoon snorted loudly behind Retief.

” . . . and she won’t eliminate your village unless you carelessly initiate hostilities by letting fly with that arrow.”

The aimed weapon disappeared. The Herpp rose, emerged cautiously from the door, the arrow still nocked but aimed off-side now.

“What makes you think your friends are here?” he chirped.

“Oh, word gets around. There are ten of them—Stilters, you know. Where are they?”

“Never saw them,” the Herpp snapped. “Now you better get back on that monster of yours and dust back off where you came from, before we clobber the both of you.”

“Don’t do anything hasty, Nop-Nee,” Retief cautioned. “Gerthudion is a patient Rhoon, but you might annoy her with that kind of talk—”

“Bah, we’ve seen enough Rhoon in the last twelve hours to last us,” the Herpp snapped. “A round dozen of the devils flew over and dropped stones on us last night; told us to surrender, before they set the whole place on fire!”

“That’s unfortunate,” Retief agreed. “But those were outlaw Rhoon. Gerthudion’s on her way to hunt them down right now—”

“Then she’d better get started. We’ve got catapults and ballistae rigged, and by now they’re zeroed in and ready to fire. So . . .” he raised the bow. “Scat!”

“I admire your spirit,” Retief said. “But first I want the ten Terrans.”

Nop-Nee drew the bowstring farther back. “Not on your life! I’m not turning harmless foreigners over to the likes of you and your oversized cronies! They’re guests of Quopp, and they’ll receive hospitable treatment. I am Nop-Nee and I dance the Dance of Ferocious Defiance!”

“And I’m Retief and I dance the Dance of Mounting Impatience—”

“You can dance the Dance of Apoplexy for all I care,” Nop-Nee yelped. “Git!”

Retief cupped a hand beside his mouth.

“Girls, if you’re in there, come on out!” He called in Terran. “I’m here on behalf of the Terry Embassy at Ixix . . .”

The Herpp jumped back in alarm. “Here, I’m Nop-Nee and I dance the Dance of Confusion! That sounded like Terry talk . . .”

A door banged wide on the third hut in line, and a slim brunette Terry female in torn flying togs appeared. She shaded her eyes at Retief, while other girls crowded out behind her. Retief executed a sweeping bow.

“Ladies, I’m enchanted to find you,” he said. “I hope none of you were hurt in the crash.”

“Who are you?” the brunette asked. She had a snub nose and blue eyes and was not over nineteen. “I thought I heard a Terran voice . . .”

“That was me, I’m afraid. I’m known as Tief-tief. I’m here to help you.”

Nop-Nee was jittering restlessly, keeping the drawn bow aimed at Retief’s chest.

“You’re not from that nasty little Voion who locked us up in a corral?” the girl asked.

“By no means. He and I are confirmed antagonists, ever since I blew up his liquor vault.”

The girls were in a huddle now, whispering together. A small blonde with green eyes spoke urgently, with emphatic gestures.

“Well,” the brunette said. “I guess we may as well take a chance; Aphrodisia likes your voice.” She smiled and came forward. “I’m Rene. It’s very nice of you to trouble about us, Mr. Tief-tief.”

Nop-Nee lowered his bow. “I dance the Dance of Utter Bafflement,” he complained. “What’s going on?”

“Girls, now that I’ve located you, I can make arrangements to fly you out. I’m afraid Ixix isn’t a healthy place for Terries right now, but there’s a trading post at Rum Jungle where you’ll be reasonably safe for the present.” Retief looked over the little group, all young, all pretty, all showing signs of a difficult day and night in the jungle.

“Which one of you is Fifi?” he inquired.

The girls looked at each other. Rene bit her lip. “She’s not here, I’m afraid. We heard that a rebel army was organizing to fight the Voion, and she started out early this morning alone to try to reach them.”

* * *

“You ladies just sit tight until you hear from me,” Retief called down from his perch on Gerthudion’s back. “I’ll round up a few Rhoon and be back for you as soon as I can.”

“I am Nop-Nee and I dance the Dance of Apology,” the Herpp keened. “Who would have thought that a Stilter on Rhoonback would mean anything but trouble?”

“You did just the right thing, Nop-Nee,” Retief assured the agitated Herpp. “Take good care of the girls until I get back, and we’ll all dance the Dance of Mutual Congratulation.”

“She wouldn’t let any of us go with her,” Aphrodisia wailed. “She said we’d slow her down . . .”

“Don’t worry. We should be able to spot her from the air.” Retief waved; Gerthudion lifted off with a great battering of air, climbed to three hundred feet, headed south. It was high noon now; the sun glared down from a cloudless pale sky. Retief watched the trail below, saw a scurry of small Quoppina fleeing the shadow of the giant flyer passing overhead—but no sign of the missing girl.

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