Some Buried Caesar by Rex Stout

differently arranged. I was not guilty of sophistry. I might

suggest a thousand dangers to your self-respect, but a failure

on the job tonight would not be one. You didn’t fail. You

were told to prevent the removal of the bull from the pasture.

You had no reason to suspect an attempt to harm the bull,

since the enemy’s purpose was to defend him from harm,

and certainly no reason to suspect an effort to frame him on

a charge of murder. I do hope you won’t begin—”

He stopped on account of footsteps in the hall. They stopped

by our door. There was a knock and I said come in and Bert

entered.

He looked at me. “Could you come downstairs? Mr. Os-

good is down there and wants to see you.”

I told him I’d be. right down. After he had gone and

his footsteps had faded away Wolfe said, “You might con-

fine yourself to direct evidence. That you rubbed your hand

and I endeavored to make you stop is our affair.”

I told him that I regarded it as such and left him to his

book.

AT THE FOOT of the stairs I was met by Pratt;

standing with his hands stuck deep in his pockets

and his wide jaw clamped tight. He made a motion with

his head without saying anything, and led m. mto the big

living room and to where a long-legged gentleman sat on a

chair biting his lip, and letting it go, and biting it again.

This latter barked at me when I was still five paces short of

him, without waiting for Pratt or me to arrange contact:

“Your name’s Goodwin, is it?”

It stuck out all over him, one of those born-to-command

guys. I never invite them to parties. But I turned on the

control and told him quietly, “Yep. Archie Goodwin.”

“It was you that drove the bull off and fired the shots?”

“Yes, doctor.”

“I’m not a doctor! I’m Frederick Osgood. My son has

been killed. My only son.”

“Excuse me, I thought you looked like a doctor.”

Pratt, who had backed off and stood facing us with his

hands still in his pockets, spoke: “The doctor hasn’t got here

yet. Mr. Osgood lives only a mile away and came in a few

minutes.”

Osgood demanded, “Tell your story. I want to hear it.”

“Yes, sir.” I told him. I know how to make a brief but

complete report and did so, up to the point where the others

had arrived, and ended by saying that I presumed he had had

the rest of it from Mr. Pratt.

“Never mind Pratt. Your story is that you weren’t there

when my son entered the pasture.”

“My story is just as I’ve told it.”

“You’re a New York detective.”

I nodded. “Private.”

“You work for Nero Wolfe and came here with him.”

“Right. Mr. Wolfe is upstairs.”

“What are you and Wolfe doing here?”

I said conversationally, “If you want a good sock in the

jaw, stand up.”

He started to lift. “Why, damn you—”

I showed him a palm. “Now hold it. I know your son has

just been killed and I’ll make all allowances within reason,

but you’re just making a damn fool of yourself. What’s the

matter with you, anyway? Are you hysterical?”

He bit his lip. In a second he said, with his tone off a

shade, “No, I’m not hysterical. I’m trying to avoid making a

fool of myself. I’m trying to decide whether to get the

sheriff and the police here. I can’t understand what happened.

I don’t believe it happened the way you say it did.”

“That’s too bad.” I looked him in the eye. “Because for

my part of it I have a witness. Someone was with me all the

time. A … a young lady.”

“Where is she? What’s her name?”

“Lily Rowan.”

He stared at me, stared at Pratt, and came back to me.

He was beyond biting his lip. “Is she here?”

“Yes. I’ll give you this free: Mr. Wolfe and I had an

accident to our car and walked to this house to telephone.

Everyone here was a stranger to us, including Lily Rowan.

After dinner she went for a walk and found me guarding

the pasture and stayed to keep me company. She was with

me when I found the bull and drove him off. If you get the

police and they honor me with any attention they’ll be

wasting their time. I’ve told you what I saw and did, and

everything I saw and did.”

Osgood’s fingers were fastened onto his knees like claws

digging for a hold. He demanded, “Was my son with this

Lily Rowan?”

“Not while she was with me. She joined me on the far

side of the pasture around nine-thirty. I hadn’t seen your

son since he left here in the afternoon. I don’t know whether

she had or not. Ask her.”

“I’d rather wring her neck, damn her. What do you know

about a bet my son made today with Pratt?”

A rumble came from Pratt: “I’ve told you all about that,

Osgood. For God’s sake give yourself a chance to cool down

a little.”

“I’d like to hear what this man has to say. What about

it, Goodwin? Did you hear them making the bet?”

“Sure, we all heard it, including your daughter and your

son’s friend—name of Bronson.” I surveyed him with decent

compassion. ‘Take some advice from an old hand, mister,

from one who has had the advantage of watching Nero

Wolfe at work. You’re rotten at this, terrible. You remind

me of a second-grade dick harassing a dip. I’ve seen lots of

people knocked dizzy by sudden death, and if that’s all that’s

wrong with you there’s nothing anyone can give you ex-

cept sympathy, but if you’re really working on an idea the

best thing you can do is turn it over to professionals. Have

you got a suspicion you can communicate?”

“I have.”

“Suspicion of what?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t understand what happened.

I don’t believe my son walked into that pasture alone, for

any purpose whatever. Pratt says he was there to get the

bull. That’s an idiotic supposition. My son wasn’t an idiot.

He wasn’t a greenhorn with cattle, either. Is it likely he would

go up to a loose bull, and if the bull showed temper, just

stand there in the dark and let it come?”

Another rumble from Pratt: “You heard what McMillan

said. He might have slipped or stumbled, and the bull was

too close—”

“I don’t believe it! What was he there for?”

“To win ten thousand dollars.”

Osgood got to his feet. He was broad-shouldered, and

a little taller than Pratt, but a bit paunchy. He advanced

on Pratt with fists hanging and spoke through his teeth.

“You damn skunk. I warned you not to say that again …”

I slipped in between them, being more at home there than

I was with bulls. I allotted the face to Osgood: “And when

the doctor comes his duty would be to get you two bandaged

up. That would be nice. If Pratt thinks your son was trying

to win a bet that’s what he thinks, and you asked for his

opinion and you got it. Cut out the playing. Either wait till

morning and get some daylight on it, or go ahead and send for

the sheriff and see what he thinks of Pratt’s opinion. Then the

papers will print it, along with Dave’s opinion and Lily

Rowan’s opinion and so forth, and we’ll see what the public

thinks. Then some intelligent reporters from New York will

print an interview with the bull—”

“Well, Mr. Pratt! I’m sorry I couldn’t make it sooner …”

We turned. It was a stocky little man with no neck, carry-

ing a black bag.

“I was out when the call … oh. Mr. Osgood. This is

terrible. A very terrible thing. Terrible.”

I followed the trio into the next room, where the piano

was, and the divan. There was no sense in Osgood going in

there again, but he went. Jimmy Pratt, who had been sitting

on the piano stool, got up and left. The doctor trotted over

to the divan and put his bag down on a chair. Osgood

crossed to a window and stood with his back to the room.

When the sound came of the canvas being opened, and

the doctor’s voice saying “My God!” quite loud, involuntarily,

Osgood turned his head half around and then turned it

back again.

Thirty minutes later I went upstairs and reported to Wolfe,

who, in yellow pajamas, was in the bathroom brushing his

teeth:

“Doc Sackett certified accidental death from a wound in-

flicted by a bull. Frederick Osgood, bereaved father, who

would be a duke if we had dukes or know the reason why,

suspects a fly in the soup, whether for the same reason as

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