Some Buried Caesar by Rex Stout

was getting ready to barbecue the breed out of existence?

To hear that bunch over at Crowfield talk you might think I

was. I’ve had over forty telegrams today howling threats

and bloody murder. That’s that fellow Bennett; he’s sicked

his members on me.”

“Their viewpoint, of course, is valid to them.”

“Sure, and mine is to me. —Hey, you want a drink there,

Mr. Goodwin. How about you. Miss Rowan? Oh, Bert! Bert!”

When Greasy-face appeared I let him proceed with his

function, which I must admit he performed promptly and

well. Three highballs were a notch above my ordinary indulgence,

but after the blowout and smashup, and the pasture

exercise, I felt a little extra would be not amiss. A little fed

up with the champion bull, I moved to a chair closer to the

champion niece and began to murmur at her. She graciously

took it, and after a little I observed the blonde slanting one

at me from the comer of her eye, so I tossed her a grin between

murmurs. I could have expanded easily, but my prospect

was not in fact at all rosy, since what I had to do before

twilight was get Wolfe and the luggage and plants to Crowfield,

outride him into a hotel and a room thereof, unpack,

find forage he would swallow without gagging, discuss the

matter of my inability to restrain the car from crashing into

a tree and get it settled once and for all, and probably sit

for a couple of hours and listen to him sigh. I was preparing

to remark to the niece that it was after five o’clock and if

she was going to drive us to Crowfield we had better get

started, when I heard a climax being reached by my employer.

Pratt was inviting him to stay for dinner and he was

accepting. I scowled at him, hoping vindictively that the food

would be terrible, for it would only complicate matters and

make him almost too much for one man to handle if we got

to our destination long after dark. He saw me scowling and

let his lids cover half his eyes, and I pretended he wasn’t

there and concentrated on the niece again. I had decided

she was all right, wholesome and quite intelligent, but she

looked too darned strong. I mean a girl is a girl and an

athlete is an athlete, though of course there are borderline

cases.

In reply to an invitation from Caroline I was explaining

that I would love to take her on at tennis if I hadn’t twisted

my wrist negotiating the fence, which was a lie, when the

second attacking party arrived. Its personnel, as it suddenly

made an appearance at the end of the terrace, left it uncertain

at first whether it was another attack or not. In front

was an extremely presentable number, I would say 22 or 3,

wearing a belted linen thing and no hat, with yellowish

brown eyes and warm trembly lips and such a chin. Behind

her was a tall slender guy, not much younger than me,

in brown slacks and pull-over, and backing him up was an

individual who should not have been there, since the proper

environment for that type is bounded by 42nd and 96th

Streets on the south and north, and Lexington Avenue and

Broadway on the east and west. In their habitat they don’t

look bad, in fact they help a lot in maintaining the tone, but

out in the country like that, still wearing a Crawnley town

suit including vest and a custom-made shirt and a Monteith

tie, they jar.

The atmosphere they created was immediate and full of

sparks. Our host’s mouth fell open. Jimmy stood up with

his face red. Caroline exclaimed something. Lily Rowan

twisted her neck to see and showed a crease in her brow.

The girl got as far as the table which was littered with empty

glasses, let her yellowish brown eyes go around, and said:

“We should have telephoned. Shouldn’t we?”

That met denial. Greetings crossed one another through

the atmosphere. It appeared that the bird in the Crawnley

suit was a stranger to the Pratts, since he had to be introduced

as Mr. Bronson. Wolfe and I had our names called, and

learned that the girl was Nancy Osgood and the tall slender

guy was her brother Clyde. Once more the clarion was

sounded for poor Bert, whereupon there seemed to be an

increase in the general embarrassment. Miss Osgood protested

that they didn’t want to intrude, they really couldn’t

stay, they had been to the fair and had only stopped in on

their way home, on an impulse. Clyde Osgood, who had a

pair of binoculars dangling on a strap around his neck, gazed

down at Pratt in a fairly provocative manner and addressed

him:

“We just got chased away from your pasture by Monte

McMillan. We were only taking a look at your bull.”

Pratt nodded sort of unconcerned, but I could see his

temples were tight. “That darned bull’s causing a lot of

trouble.” He glanced at the sister, and back at the brother

again. “It’s nice of you children to drop in like this. Unex-

pected pleasure. I saw your father over at Crowfield today.”

“Yeah. He saw you too.” All at once Clyde stopped talk-

ing, and began to turn, slow but sure, as if something had

gripped him and was wheeling him on a pivot. He took four

steps and was confronting the canvas swing, looking down

straight at Lily Rowan.

“How are you?” he demanded.

“I’m fine.” She held her head tilted back to see him.

“Just fine. You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m great. ”

“Good.” Lily yawned.

That simple exchange seemed to have an effect on Jimmy

Pratt, for he took on added color, though as near as I could

tell his eyes were aimed at Nancy Osgood, who was passing

a remark to Caroline. Caroline was insisting that they stay

for a drink. Mr. Bronson, looking a little weary, as if the day

at the fair had been too much for him, had sat down. Clyde

abruptly turned away from the swing, crossed back over,

and got onto the edge of the chair next to Pratt’s.

“Look here,” he said.

“Well, my boy?”

“We stopped in to see you, my sister and I.”

“I think that was a good idea. Now that I’ve built this

place here … we’re neighbors again, aren’t we.”

Clyde frowned. He looked to me like a spoiled kid, with

a mouth that didn’t quite go shut, and moving as if he ex-

pected things to get out of his way. He said, “Neighbors? I

suppose so. Technically, anyhow. I wanted to speak to you

about that bull. I know why you’re doing it … I guess every-

one around here does. You’re doing it just to be offensive to

my father — you keep out of this, Nancy, I’m handling this—”

His sister had a hand on his shoulder. “But Clyde, that’s

no way—”

“Let me alone.” He shook her off and went after Pratt

again. “You think you can get his goat by sneering at him,

by butchering a bull that could top any of his in show competition.

I’ll hand it to you for one thing, you picked a good

one. Hickory Caesar Grindon is a hard bull to put down.

I say that not only on account of his record, but because I

know cattle … or I used to. I wanted my father to buy

Caesar – in 1931, when he was only a promising junior. And

you think you’re going to butcher him?”

“That’s my intention. But where you got the idea that

I’m doing it deliberately to offend your father — nonsense.

I’m doing it as an advertisement for my business.”

“You are like hell. I know all about it … from the beginning.

It’s just another of your cheap efforts to make my

father look cheap—you keep out of this, Sis!”

“You’re wrong, my boy.” Pratt sounded tolerant. “I don’t

do anything cheap … I can afford not to. Let me tell you

something. I understand the best bull your father’s got is

getting pretty old. Well, if your father came to me and

asked for that bull I bought, I’d be strongly inclined to let

him have him as a gift. I certainly would.”

“No doubt! A gift!” Clyde was nearly overcome with

scorn. “Now I’ll tell you. There was a lot of talk over at

Crowfield today. Of course, as a member of the Guernsey

League, my father was in on it. He was sure that the plan

Bennett arranged with Cullen and McMillan wouldn’t

work … he said he knew you since you were a boy and

you wouldn’t turn loose. My sister Nancy got the idea of

coming here to try to persuade you, and I agreed to come

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