quietly and waited for the spirit to move her. After a minute
she moved, but only to turn her head to look at me.
“I want to tell you what I was thinking about.”
I nodded politely.
“Lily Rowan.”
I nodded again. “She calls me Escamillo. She told me that
you and she are going to the fair tomorrow, and suggested that
she and I might have lunch together.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her I couldn’t on account of my table manners. I
don’t like hitch-lunchers.”
Caroline snorted. “She wasn’t trying to hitch. She would
pay the check. She’s rich. Very. Maybe millions, I don’t know,
anyway plenty. She’s a vampire. She’s dangerous.”
“You mean she bites you in the neck?”
“I mean what I say. I used to think the talk about some
woman being dangerous, you know, really dangerous, was
romantic hooey, but it isn’t. Lily Rowan is one. If she wasn’t
too lazy to make much of an effort there’s no telling how many
men she might ruin, but I know of at least three she has
played the devil with. You saw Clyde Osgood today. Not that
Clyde was ever one of nature’s noblemen, but he was doing
all right. He’s just my age, 26. The Osgoods have owned this
county for generations, they still have a couple of thousand
acres, and after Clyde finished at college he buckled in and
handled things for his father, who was away most of the time
doing politics and things. People around here say he was
really showing some sense. Then during a trip to New York
two years ago he met Lily Rowan, and she took a fancy to
him and got a spell of energy at the same time. She did worse
than bite him in the neck. She swallowed him. Then last
spring she spit him out again. That may not be very elegant
but can you describe the activities of a toad with elegance?
Clyde hasn’t returned to the country; he hangs around New
York and tries to see her or tries not to see her. I don’t know
what he’s doing up here now. Maybe he knew she was coming.”
She stopped. I remarked, “And that’s what you were thinking about.”
“No, that only leads up to it.” She frowned at me. “You’re
a detective. That’s your business, isn’t it?”
“Yep, 24 hour service.”
“And you … you keep things confidential?”
“Sure, when they are confidential.”
“Well, this is. Lily Rowan is after my brother Jimmy.”
I raised the brows. “And?”
“She mustn’t get him. She hasn’t got him … yet. I would
have supposed Jimmy had too much sense, but apparently
that has nothing to do with it. Also I thought he was in love
with Nan Osgood; I thought that last winter. A month or
so ago Lily Rowan started after him. And even Jimmy …
even Jimmy will fall for it! How the devil does she do it?
Damn her!”
“I couldn’t say. I could ask her.”
“This isn’t a joke. She’ll ruin him.”
“I don’t regard it as a job. You asked a silly question.
And her being up here … you invited her just to help things
along a little and have it over with?”
“I invited her because I thought that seeing her like this
… out here in the country … might bring him to. But it
hasn’t.”
“He still laps it up.”
“Yes.”
I hunched my shoulders. “Well, granted that I’m a good
detective, there doesn’t seem to be anything to detect. It
seems to be what my employer calls a natural process, and
there’s no way of stopping it except to send your brother to
Australia for a pair of shoestrings or cut her throat.”
“I could do that, cut her throat. I could murder her. But
maybe there is a way. That’s what I was thinking about. She
said something about you today while you were upstairs.
Something that gave me an idea.”
“What did she say?”
“I can’t tell you. I couldn’t say it.”
“Was it … well, personal?”
“Very personal.”
“What was it?”
“I tell you I- won’t repeat it. But that, and other things,
and her asking you to have lunch with her … I believe you
could take her away from Jimmy. Provided you don’t try.
She likes to do the trying, when she gets energy enough.
Something about you has attracted her; I knew that when
she called you Escamillo.”
“Go on.”
“That’s all. Except … of course … I don’t mean to ask
a favor of you. There’s no reason why you should do me a
favor, even as great a one as this. It’s a matter of business.
When you send me a bill I’ll pay it, only if it’s very big I
might have to pay in installments.”
“I see. First I act coy, then I let her ruin me, then I send
you a bill—”
“I tell you this isn’t a joke. It’s anything but a joke. Will
you do it?”
I screwed up my lips, regarding her. Then I got out a ciga-
rette, offered her one which was refused, and lit up.
“Look,” I said, “I think it’s a joke. Let’s say she goes
ahead and ruins him. In my opinion, if he’s worth the powder
to blow him to hell, he’ll soon get unruined. No man was
ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket
in his pocket, or at least had been fooling around with time-
tables. God bless you, you say you want to hire me to pull
her off. I couldn’t take an outside job even if I wanted to,
because I work for Nero Wolfe on salary. But since you want
to make it strictly a matter of business, I’ll do this for you:
I’ll eat lunch with her tomorrow, provided you’ll pay the
check. That will be $2, for which, inclusive. 111 make you
a detailed report of progress.”
She said briefly, “It isn’t a joke. I’ll give you the $2 when
we get back to the house,” and stepped on the starter.
It surely wouldn’t have been too much to expect that I
might have had a little peace and quiet during the hour that
remained before dinnertime, but no such luck. I had
unloaded the crates of plants and taken them upstairs to the
bathroom, and had carted up the two suitcases, and my final
Journey was with the two bags. Entering the room with them
and hearing a noise in the bathroom, I put the bags down
and crossed to the open door and saw Wolfe there, with the
lids of the crates lifted so he could inspect the orchids to see
if they would require spraying. I said the plants looked to
me to be in good shape, and be acknowledged the fact. Then
I said that since our shirts and ties were in the suitcases,
likewise toilet articles, I presumed it would be unnecessary to
open the bags, though I had brought them up. Not looking
at me, he murmured casually but distinctly:
“It would be well, I think, to unpack.”
I started. “The whole works?”
“Yes.”
“You mean take everything out?”
“Yes.”
“And put it back in again after dinner?”
“No. We shall sleep here tonight.”
I started to improvise a cutting remark, because I am
methodical by temperament and like to see plans carried out
when they have been made, but then I reflected that after
all this place unquestionably had it all over any hotel room
they were likely to be saving for us in Crowfield, with the
town overflowing with exposition visitors. On the other hand
it was always bad policy to feed his conceit by displaying ap-
proval, so without comment I returned to the bedroom and
began operations on the big suitcase. Pretty soon he waddled
in, removed his coat and vest and dropped them on one of
the beds, and started to unbutton his shirt.
I inquired pleasantly, “How did you coerce Pratt into
having us as house guests? Just turn on the old charm?”
“There was no coercion. Technically we are not guests.
Mr. Pratt was eager to adopt my suggestion.”
“Oh.” I whirled on him with my hands full of socks and
handkerchiefs. “You made a suggestion?”
“I did. I’m being perfectly frank about it, Archie; I could
let it appear that the suggestion originated with Mr. Pratt,
but it didn’t; I offered it. Knowing of his difficulty, it seemed
a decent thing to do, after his generous hospitality. He ap-
proved at once, and proposed a commission to me, and I
accepted.”
“I see.” I was still holding the haberdashery. “What kind
of a commission, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Not a very lucrative one. Nor very difficult. Surveillance.”
“I thought so.” I crossed and opened a drawer of the
bureau and arranged the socks and handkerchiefs inside.