I can’t be denied’; and with that he fell to kissing me so violently,
I could not get rid of him.
There was a bed in the room, and we were walking to and
again, eager in the discourse; at last he takes me by surprise
in his arms, and threw me on the bed and himself with me,
and holding me fast in his arms, but without the least offer of
any indecency, courted me to consent with such repeated
entreaties and arguments, protesting his affection, and vowing
he would not let me go till I had promised him, that at last I
said, ‘Why, you resolve not to be denied, indeed, I can’t be
denied.’ ‘Well, well,’ said I, and giving him a slight kiss, ‘then
you shan’t be denied,’ said I; ‘let me get up.’
He was so transported with my consent, and the kind manner
of it, that I began to think once he took it for a marriage, and
would not stay for the form; but I wronged him, for he gave
over kissing me, and then giving me two or three kisses again,
thanked me for my kind yielding to him; and was so overcome
with the satisfaction and joy of it, that I saw tears stand in his eyes.
I turned from him, for it filled my eyes with tears too, and I
asked him leave to retire a little to my chamber. If ever I had
a grain of true repentance for a vicious and abominable life
for twenty-four years past, it was then. On, what a felicity is
it to mankind, said I to myself, that they cannot see into the
hearts of one another! How happy had it been for me if I had
been wife to a man of so much honesty, and so much affection
from the beginning!
Then it occurred to me, ‘What an abominable creature am I!
and how is this innocent gentleman going to be abused by me!
How little does he think, that having divorced a whore, he is
throwing himself into the arms of another! that he is going to
marry one that has lain with two brothers, and has had three
children by her own brother! one that was born in Newgate,
whose mother was a whore, and is now a transported thief!
one that has lain with thirteen men, and has had a child since
he saw me! Poor gentleman!’ said I, ‘what is he going to do?’
After this reproaching myself was over, it following thus:
‘Well, if I must be his wife, if it please God to give me grace,
I’ll be a true wife to him, and love him suitably to the strange
excess of his passion for me; I will make him amends if possible,
by what he shall see, for the cheats and abuses I put upon him,
which he does not see.’
He was impatient for my coming out of my chamber, but
finding me long, he went downstairs and talked with my
landlord about the parson.
My landlord, an officious though well-meaning fellow, had sent
away for the neighbouring clergyman; and when my gentleman
began to speak of it to him, and talk of sending for him, ‘Sir,’
says he to him, ‘my friend is in the house’; so without any more
words he brought them together. When he came to the minister,
he asked him if he would venture to marry a couple of strangers
that were both willing. The parson said that Mr.—- had said
something to him of it; that he hoped it was no clandestine
business; that he seemed to be a grave gentleman, and he
supposed madam was not a girl, so that the consent of friends
should be wanted. ‘To put you out of doubt of that,’ says my
gentleman, ‘read this paper’; and out he pulls the license. ‘I
am satisfied,’ says the minister; ‘where is the lady?’ ‘You
shall see her presently,’ says my gentleman.
When he had said thus he comes upstairs, and I was by that
time come out of my room; so he tells me the minister was
below, and that he had talked with him, and that upon showing