so proper for a woman to write, and the great terror that was
upon his mind with relation to his wife, for fear he should have
received any injury from me, and should communicate if farther;
and asked her at last if she could not procure him an opportunity
to speak with me. My governess gave him further assurances
of my being a woman clear from any such thing, and that he
was as entirely save in that respect as he was with his own
lady; but as for seeing me, she said it might be of dangerous
consequence; but, however, that she would talk with me, and
let him know my answer, using at the same time some arguments
to persuade him not to desire it, and that it could be of no
service to him, seeing she hoped he had no desire to renew a
correspondence with me, and that on my account it was a kind
of putting my life in his hands.
He told her he had a great desire to see me, that he would
give her any assurances that were in his power, not to take
any advantages of me, and that in the first place he would give
me a general release from all demands of any kind. She insisted
how it might tend to a further divulging the secret, and might
in the end be injurious to him, entreating him not to press for
it; so at length he desisted.
They had some discourse upon the subject of the things he had
lost, and he seemed to be very desirous of his gold watch, and
told her if she could procure that for him, he would willingly
give as much for it as it was worth. She told him she would
endeavour to procure it for him, and leave the valuing it to
himself.
Accordingly the next day she carried the watch, and he gave
her thirty guineas for it, which was more than I should have
been able to make of it, though it seems it cost much more.
He spoke something of his periwig, which it seems cost him
threescore guineas, and his snuff-box, and in a few days more
she carried them too; which obliged him very much, and he
gave her thirty more. The next day I sent him his fine sword
and cane gratis, and demanded nothing of him, but I had no
mind to see him, unless it had been so that he might be satisfied
I knew who he was, which he was not willing to.
Then he entered into a long talk with her of the manner how
she came to know all this matter. She formed a long tale of
that part; how she had it from one that I had told the whole
story to, and that was to help me dispose of the goods; and
this confidante brought the things to her, she being by profession
a pawnbroker; and she hearing of his worship’s disaster, guessed
at the thing in general; that having gotten the things into her
hands, she had resolved to come and try as she had done. She
then gave him repeated assurances that it should never go out
of her mouth, and though she knew the woman very well, yet
she had not let her know, meaning me, anything of it; that is
to say, who the person was, which, by the way, was false; but,
however, it was not to his damage, for I never opened my
mouth of it to anybody.
I had a great many thoughts in my head about my seeing him
again, and was often sorry that I had refused it. I was persuaded
that if I had seen him, and let him know that I knew him, I
should have made some advantage of him, and perhaps have
had some maintenance from him; and though it was a life
wicked enough, yet it was not so full of danger as this I was
engaged in. However, those thoughts wore off, and I declined
seeing him again, for that time; but my governess saw him
often, and he was very kind to her, giving her something almost