with all my heart, if you had but asked me the question’;
but that was to myself. To him I replied, ‘Why, you shut the
door against any honest woman accepting you, for you condemn
all that should venture upon you at once, and conclude, that
really a woman that takes you now can’t be honest.’
‘Why,’ says he, ‘I wish you would satisfy me that an honest
woman would take me; I’d venture it’; and then turns short
upon me, ‘Will you take me, madam?’
‘That’s not a fair question,’ says I, ‘after what you have said;
however, lest you should think I wait only for a recantation
of it, I shall answer you plainly, No, not I; my business is of
another kind with you, and I did not expect you would have
turned my serious application to you, in my own distracted
case, into a comedy.’
‘Why, madam,’ says he, ‘my case is as distracted as yours can
be, and I stand in as much need of advice as you do, for I think
if I have not relief somewhere, I shall be made myself, and I
know not what course to take, I protest to you.’
‘Why, sir,’ says I, ”tis easy to give advice in your case, much
easier than it is in mine.’ ‘Speak then,’ says he, ‘I beg of you,
for now you encourage me.’
‘Why,’ says I, ‘if your case is so plain as you say it is, you may
be legally divorced, and then you may find honest women
enough to ask the question of fairly; the sex is not so scarce
that you can want a wife.’
‘Well, then,’ said he, ‘I am in earnest; I’ll take your advice;
but shall I ask you one question seriously beforehand?’
‘Any question,’ said I, ‘but that you did before.’
‘No, that answer will not do,’ said he, ‘for, in short, that is the
question I shall ask.’
‘You may ask what questions you please, but you have my
answer to that already,’ said I. ‘Besides, sir,’ said I, ‘can you
think so ill of me as that I would give any answer to such a
question beforehand? Can any woman alive believe you in
earnest, or think you design anything but to banter her?’
‘Well, well,’ says he, ‘I do not banter you, I am in earnest;
consider of it.’
‘But, sir,’ says I, a little gravely, ‘I came to you about my own
business; I beg of you to let me know, what you will advise me
to do?’
‘I will be prepared,’ says he, ‘against you come again.’
‘Nay,’ says I, ‘you have forbid my coming any more.’
‘Why so?’ said he, and looked a little surprised.
‘Because,’ said I, ‘you can’t expect I should visit you on the
account you talk of.’
‘Well,’ says he, ‘you shall promise me to come again, however,
and I will not say any more of it till I have gotten the divorce,
but I desire you will prepare to be better conditioned when
that’s done, for you shall be the woman, or I will not be
divorced at all; why, I owe it to your unlooked-for kindness,
if it were to nothing else, but I have other reasons too.’
He could not have said anything in the world that pleased me
better; however, I knew that the way to secure him was to
stand off while the thing was so remote, as it appeared to be,
and that it was time enough to accept of it when he was able
to perform it; so I said very respectfully to him, it was time
enough to consider of these things when he was in a condition
to talk of them; in the meantime, I told him, I was going a
great way from him, and he would find objects enough to
please him better. We broke off here for the present, and he
made me promise him to come again the next day, for his
resolutions upon my own business, which after some pressing
I did; though had he seen farther into me, I wanted no pressing
on that account.
I came the next evening, accordingly, and brought my maid