Carl Hiaasen – Native Tongue

Skink was at the window again, lurking on the edge of the shadow. “Do you know anyone who drives a blue Saab?”

“No—”

“Because he was waiting at your apartment this morning. Big Cuban meathead who works at the park. He saw you arrive.” Skink dropped down again. He said to Winder, “You were driving the young lady’s car, right?”

“She loaned it to me. So what?”

“So it’s got a parking sticker on the rear bumper.”

“Oh shit, you’re right.” Joe Winder had completely forgotten; employees of the Amazing Kingdom were issued Petey Possum parking permits. Each decal bore an identification number. It was a simple matter to trace the car to Carrie Lanier.

“I need to go to fugitive school,” Winder said. “This was really stupid.”

Carrie asked Skink about the man in the blue Saab. “Did he follow Joe, too? Is he out there now?”

“He was diverted,” Skink said, “but I’m sure he’ll be here eventually. That’s why we’re leaving.”

“No,” Winder said, “I can’t.”

Skink asked Carrie Lanier for a paper napkin. Carefully he wrapped the uneaten segment of mud snake and placed it in a pocket of his blaze rainsuit.

He said, “There”ll be trouble if we stay.”

“I can’t go,” Winder insisted. “Look, the fax lines are already set up. Everything’s in place right here.”

“So you’ve got something more in mind?”

“You know I do. In fact, you’ve given me a splendid inspiration.”

“All right, we’ll wait until daybreak. Can you type in the dark?”

“It’s been a while, but sure.” Back in the glory days, Winder had once written forty inches in the blackness of a Gulfport motel bathroom—a Royal manual typewriter balanced on his lap. This was during Hurricane Frederic.

Skink said, “Get busy, genius. I’ll watch the window.”

“What can I do to help?” Carrie asked.

“Put on some Stones,” said Skink.

“And some panties,” Winder whispered.

She told him to hush and quit acting like an old prude.

While the tow truck hooked up the Saab, Pedro Luz forced himself to reflect on events.

There he was, waiting for Winder to come out of the apartment when here comes this big spade highway patrolman knocking on the window of the car.

“Hey, there,” he says from behind those damn reflector shades.

“Hey,” says Pedro Luz, giving him the slight macho nod that says, I’m one of you, brother.

But the spade doesn’t go for it. Asks for Pedro’s driver’s license and also for the registration of the Saab. Looks over the papers and says, “So who’s Ramex Global?”

“Oh, you know,” Pedro says, flashing his old Miami PD badge.

Trooper goes “Hmmm.” Just plain “Hmmm.” And then the fucker jots down the badge number, like he’s going to check it out!

Pedro resists the urge to reach under the seat for his gun. Instead he says, “Man, you’re burning me. I’m silting on a dude out here.”

“Yeah? What’s his name?”

Pedro Luz says, “Smith. Jose Smith.” It’s the best he can do on short notice, with his brain twitching all crazy inside his skull. “Man, you and that marked unit are burning me bad.”

Trooper doesn’t act too damn concerned. “So you’re a police officer, is that right?”

“Hell,” Pedro says, “you saw the badge.”

“Yes, I sure did. You’re a long way from the city.”

“Hey, chico, we’re in a war, remember.”

“Narcotics?” The trooper sounds positively intrigued. “This man Smith, he’s some big-time dope smuggler, eh?”

“Was,” Pedro says. “He sees your car sitting out here, he’s back in wholesale footwear.”

“Hmmm,” the spade trooper says again. Meanwhile Pedro’s fantasizing about grabbing him around the middle and squeezing his guts out both ends, like a very large tube of licorice toothpaste.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna run my tag,” Pedro says.

“Nah.” But the trooper’s still leaning his thick black arms against the door of the Saab, his face not a foot from Pedro”s, so that Pedro can see himself twice in the mirrored sunglasses. Now the trooper says: “What happened to your finger?”

“Cat bite.”

“Looks like it took the whole top joint.”

“That’s right,” says Pedro, aching all over, wishing he’d brought his intravenous bag of Winstrol-V. Talking high-octane. Same stuff they use on horses. One thousand dollars a vial, and worth every penny.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *