to make it back to the plateau
A figure barred their way
It hadn’t been there a moment ago but it looked permanent now. It seemed to have
been made of snow, three bal s of snow piled on one another. It had black dots for
eyes. A semi-circle of more dots formed the semblance of a mouth. There was a carrot
for the nose
And, for the arms, two twigs
At this distance, anyway
One of them was holding a curved stick
A raven wearing a damp piece of red paper landed on one arm
‘Bob bob bob?’ it suggested. ‘Merry Solstice? Tweetie tweet? What are you waiting
for? Hogswatch?
The dogs backed away
The snow broke off the snowman in chunks, revealing a gaunt figure in a flapping
black robe
Death spat out the carrot
HO. HO. HO
The grey bodies smeared and rippled as the hounds sought desperately to change
their shape
YOU COULDN’T RESIST IT? IN THE END? A MISTAKE, I FANCY
He touched the scythe. There was a click as the blade flashed into life
IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE, said Death, stepping forward. SPEAKING
METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. IT’S A HABIT THAT’S HARD TO GIVE UP. ONE
PUFF OF BREATH IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU’LL FIND YOU WANT TO TAKE
ANOTHER
A dog started to slip on the snow and scrabbled desperately to save itself from the
long, cold drop
AND, YOU SEE, THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE FOR EVERY MOMENT, THE
MORE ALIVE YOU STAY… WHICH IS WHERE I COME IN, AS A MATTER OF FACT
The leading dog managed, for a moment, to become a grey led figure before being
dragged back into shape
FEAR, TOO, IS AN ANCHOR, said Death. ALL THOSE SENSES, WIDE OPEN TO
EVERY FRAGMENT OF THE WORLD. THAT BEATING HEART. THAT RUSH OF
BLOOD. CAN YOU NOT FEEL IT, DRAGGING YOU BACK
Once again the Auditor managed to retain a shape for a few seconds, and managed
to say: you cannot do this, there are rules”
YES. THERE ARE RULES. BUT YOU BROKE THEM. HOW DARE YOU? HOW
DARE YOU
The scythe blade was a thin blue outline in the grey light
Death raised a thin finger to where his lips might have been, and suddenly looked
thoughtful
AND NOW THERE REMAINS ONLY ONE FINAL QUESTION, he said
He raised his hands, and seemed to grow. Light flared in his eye sockets. When he
spoke next, avalanches fel in the mountains
HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY… OR NICE
HO. HO. HO
Susan heard the wails die away
The boar lay in white snow that was now red with blood. She knelt down and tried to
lift its head
It was dead. One eye stared at nothing. The tongue lol ed
Sobs wel ed up inside her. The tiny part of Susan that watched, the inner baby-sitter,
said it was just exhaustion and excitement and the backwash of adrenalin. She
couldn’t be crying over a dead pig
The rest of her drummed on its flank with both fists
‘No, you can’t! We saved you! Dying isn’t how it’s supposed to go!
A breeze blew up
Something stirred in the landscape, something under the snow. The branches on the
ancient trees shook gently, dislodging little needles of ice
The sun rose
The light streamed over Susan like a silent gale. It was dazzling. She crouched back,
raising her forearm to cover her eyes. The great red bal turned frost to fire along the
winter branches
Cold light slammed into the mountain peaks
making every one a blinding, silent volcano. It rol ed onward, gushing into the val eys
and thundering up the slopes, unstoppable..
There was a groan
A man lay in the snow where the boar had been
He was naked except for an animal skin loincloth. His hair was long and had been
woven into a thick plait down his back, so matted with blood and grease that it looked
like felt. And he was bleeding everywhere the hounds had caught him
Susan watched for a moment, and then, thinking with something other than her
head, methodical y tore some strips from her petticoat to bandage the more unpleasant
wounds
Capability, said the smal part of her mind. A rational head in emergencies
Rational something, anyway
It’s probably some kind of character flaw
The man was tattooed. Blue whorls and spirals haunted his skin, under the blood
He opened his eyes and stared at the sky
‘Can you get up?
His gaze flicked to her. He tried moving and then fel back
Eventual y she managed to pul the man up into a sitting position. He swayed as she
put one of his arms across her shoulders and then heaved him to his feet. She did her
best to ignore the sting, which had an almost physical force
Downhil seemed the best option. Even if his brain wasn’t working yet, his feet
seemed to get the idea
They lurched down through the freezing woods, the snow glowing orange in the risen
sun. Cold blue gloom lurked in hol ows like little cups of winter
Beside her, the tattooed man made a gurgling sound. He slipped out of her grasp
and landed on his knees in the snow, clutching at his throat and choking. His breath
sounded like a saw
‘What now? What’s the matter? What’s the matter?
He rol ed his eyes at her and pawed at his throat again
‘Something stuck?’ She slapped him as hard as she could on the back, but now he
was on his hands and knees, fighting for breath
She put her hands under his shoulders and pul ed him upright, and put her arms
around his waist. Oh, gods, how was it supposed to go, she’d gone to classes about it,
now, didn’t you have to bunch up one fist and then put the other hand around it and
then pul up and in like this-
The man coughed and something bounced off a tree and landed in the snow
She knelt down to have a look
It was a smal black bean
A bird tril ed, high on a branch. She looked up. A wren bobbed at her and fluttered to
another twig
When she looked back, the man was different. He had clothes now, heavy furs, with
a fur hood and fur boots. He was supporting himself on a stone-tipped spear, and
looked a lot stronger
Something hurried through the wood, barely visible except by its shadow. For a
moment she glimpsed a white hare before it sprang away on a new path
She looked back. Now the furs had gone and the man looked older, although he had
the same eyes. He was wearing thick white robes, and looked very much like a priest
When a bird cal ed again she didn’t look away. And she realized that she’d been
mistaken in thinking that the man changed like the turning of pages. Al the images
were there at once, and many others too. What you saw depended on how you looked
Yes. It’s a good job I’m cool and total y used to this sort of thing, she thought.
Otherwise I’d be rather worried..
Now they were at the edge of the forest
A little way off, four huge boars stood and steamed, in front of a sledge that looked as if it had been put together out of crudely trimmed trees. There were faces in the
blackened wood, possibly carved by stone, possibly carved by rain and wind
The Hogfather climbed aboard and sat down. He’d put on weight in the last few yards
and now it was almost impossible to see anything other than the huge, redrobed man,
ice crystals settling here and there on the cloth. Only in the occasional sparkle of frost
was there a hint of hair or tusk
He shifted on the seat and then reached dow
to extricate a false beard, which he held up questioningly
SORRY, said a voice behind Susan. THAT WAS MINE
The Hogfather nodded at Death, as one craftsman to another, and then at Susan.
She wasn’t sure if she was being thanked – it was more a gesture of recognition, of
acknowledgement that something that needed doing had indeed been done. But it
wasn’t thanks
Then he shook the reins and clicked his teeth and the sledge slid away
They watched it go
‘I remember hearing,’ said Susan distantly, ‘that the idea of the Hogfather wearing a
red and white outfit was invented quite recently.
NO. IT WAS REMEMBERED
Now the Hogfather was a red dot on the other side of the val ey
‘Wel , that about wraps it up for this dress,’ said Susan. ‘I’d just like to ask, just out of academic interest… you were sure I was going to survive, were you?
I WAS QUITE CONFIDENT
‘Oh, good.
I WILL GIVE YOU A LIFT BACK, said Death, after a while
‘Thank you. Now… tel me .