M.Y.T.H. Inc In Action by Robert Asprin

“Excuse me, Spyder,” I sez with a smile, “but I need to have a few words with these boys in private whilst they are still able to stand and walk without the aid of crutch-type assistance. Right boys?”

“OW! … Right!”

“Yeah … Aaah! … Sure!”

The sudden cooperative nature of the Flie brothers is in no small way influenced by the fact that I have casually dug a thumb into the hollow of a collarbone on each of them and tend to tighten my grip another notch each time I asks them a question … regardless of how rhetorical it might be. The real trick to this maneuver, in case any of youse is interested in technical-type details, is not to loosen your grip once you start tightenin’ it. That is, it isn’t squeeze … release … squeeze … release … , it’s squeeze … tighten … tighter … grind… . See what I mean? Now if, perhaps, youse have developed your grip to a point where you can crumble bricks with it … like I have … this will prove to be a most convincin’ punctuation to the weakest of logic durin’ a difference of opinion.

Anyhoo, returnin’ to my oration, I draws the two brothers aside for a little chat, all the while keepin’ a wary eye on the hoverin’ corporal.

“Now, don’t you think it would be a good idea for you boys to lighten up a little? (squeeze)” I sez softly so’s we are the only ones who can hear.

“There are two things you should be considerin’ here. First, dis collection of individuals we is goin’ through trainin’ with constitutes a group, and within a group it is always better to be nice than nasty. With nice, you got friends who will cover your back in a fight … with nasty, youse gotta watch your back from them. You got that? (tighten)”