M.Y.T.H. Inc In Action by Robert Asprin

Introduction:

“What am I doing here?”

-ANY RECRUIT, ANY ARMY

“NAME?”

Now, in those circles within whose company I am accustomed to travelin’, it is considered impolite to ask questions in general . . . and that question in specific. Unfortunately, I was currently well outside those circles, and as such felt compelled to answer the inquiry, however rude.

“Guido.”

“Home address?”

“The Bazaar at Deva.”

“What?”

“The Bazaar at … Oh! Uh . . . just say . . . ‘varies.'”

The joker what was takin’ down this information gives me a hard look before continuing with his questions. I give him my best innocent look back, which as any jury can tell you is most convincing though deep down inside I am more than a little annoyed with myself. Bein’ a smarter than average individual, I should have recalled that even though my travels and adventures with the Boss have accustomed me to other dimensions, to most folks here on Klah such places as the Bazaar at Deva are unheard of, and therefore suspicious. As I am makin’ a specific effort to be inconspicuous, this is not the wisest answer to have given.

“Height and weight?”

This question makes me feel a bit better, as it serves to remind me that whatever I say or do, I will never be totally inconspicuous. You see, I am what is politely referred to as “a large person” . . . or less politely as “a knuckle-dragging monster.” While this is of invaluable assistance considerin’ my chosen profession, it does, however, make it difficult to blend with any given crowd. In fact, I would be the largest person in the line if it were not for Nunzio who is maybe an inch shorter, but a bit bulkier.