P G Wodehouse – The Little Nugget

Much may be done by kindness. By the time the curtain fell on the musical comedy which we had attended all was peace between the Nugget and myself. Supper cemented our friendship, and we drove back to my rooms on excellent terms with one another. Half an hour later he was snoring in the spare room, while I smoked contentedly before the fire in the sitting-room.

I had not been there five minutes when the bell rang. Smith was in bed, so I went to the door myself and found Mr Fisher on the mat.

My feeling of benevolence towards all created things, the result of my successful handling of the Little Nugget, embraced Sam. I invited him in.

‘Well,’ I said, when I had given him a cigar and filled his glass, ‘and how have you been getting on, Mr Fisher? Any luck?’

He shook his head at me reproachfully.

‘Young man, you’re deep. I’ve got to hand it to you. I underestimated you. You’re very deep.’

‘Approbation from Smooth Sam Fisher is praise indeed. But why these stately compliments?’

‘You took me in, young man. I don’t mind owning it. When you told me the Nugget had gone astray, I lapped it up like a babe. And all the time you were putting one over on me. Well, well!’

‘But he had gone astray, Mr Fisher.’

He knocked the ash off his cigar. He wore a pained look.

‘You needn’t keep it up, sonny. I happened to be standing within three yards of you when you got into a cab with him in Shaftesbury Avenue.’

I laughed.

‘Well, if that’s the case, let there be no secrets between us. He’s asleep in the next room.’

Sam leaned forward earnestly and tapped me on the knee.

‘Young man, this is a critical moment. This is where, if you aren’t careful, you may undo all the good work you have done by getting chesty and thinking that, because you’ve won out so far, you’re the whole show. Believe me, the difficult part is to come, and it’s right here that you need an experienced man to work in with you. Let me in on this and leave the negotiations with old man Ford to me. You would only make a mess of them. I’ve handled this kind of thing a dozen times, and I know just how to act. You won’t regret taking me on as a partner. You won’t lose a cent by it. I can work him for just double what you would get, even supposing you didn’t make a mess of the deal and get nothing.’

‘It’s very good of you, but there won’t be any negotiations with Mr Ford. I am taking the boy back to Sanstead, as I told you.’ I caught his pained eye. ‘I’m afraid you don’t believe me.’

He drew at his cigar without replying.

It is a human weakness to wish to convince those who doubt us, even if their opinion is not intrinsically valuable. I remembered that I had Cynthia’s letter in my pocket. I produced it as exhibit A in my evidence and read it to him.

Sam listened carefully.

‘I see,’ he said. ‘Who wrote that?’

‘Never mind. A friend of mine.’

I returned the letter to my pocket.

‘I was going to have sent him over to Monaco, but I altered my plans. Something interfered.’

‘What?’

‘I might call it coincidence, if you know what that means.’

‘And you are really going to take him back to the school?’

‘I am.’

‘We shall travel back together,’ he said. ‘I had hoped I had seen the last of the place. The English countryside may be delightful in the summer, but for winter give me London. However,’ he sighed resignedly, and rose from his chair, ‘I will say good-bye till tomorrow. What train do you catch?’

‘Do you mean to say,’ I demanded, ‘that you have the nerve to come back to Sanstead after what you have told me about yourself?’

‘You entertain some idea of exposing me to Mr Abney? Forget it, young man. We are both in glass houses. Don’t let us throw stones. Besides, would he believe it? What proof have you?’

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