P G Wodehouse – The Little Nugget

‘You think you’re certain to win?’

‘It’s a cinch.’

‘Then why trouble to come here and see me?’

I appeared to have put into words the smouldering thought which was vexing Mr MacGinnis. He burst into speech.

‘Ahr chee! Sure! What’s de use? Didn’t I tell youse? What’s de use of wastin’ time? What are we spielin’ away here for? Let’s get busy.’

Sam waved a hand towards him with the air of a lecturer making a point.

‘You see! The man of action! He likes trouble. He asks for it. He eats it alive. Now I prefer peace. Why have a fuss when you can get what you want quietly? That’s my motto. That’s why we’ve come. It’s the old proposition. We’re here to buy you out. Yes, I know you have turned the offer down before, but things have changed. Your stock has fallen. In fact, instead of letting you in on sharing terms, we only feel justified now in offering a commission. For the moment you may seem to hold a strong position. You are in the house, and you’ve got the boy. But there’s nothing to it really. We could get him in five minutes if we cared to risk having a fuss. But it seems to me there’s no need of any fuss. We should win dead easy all right, if it came to trouble; but, on the other hand, you’ve a gun, and there’s a chance some of us might get hurt, so what’s the good when we can settle it quietly? How about it, sonny?’

Mr MacGinnis began to rumble, preparatory to making further remarks on the situation, but Sam waved him down and turned his brown eyes inquiringly on me.

‘Fifteen per cent is our offer,’ he said.

‘And to think it was once fifty-fifty!’

‘Strict business!’

‘Business? It’s sweating!’

‘It’s our limit. And it wasn’t easy to make Buck here agree to that. He kicked like a mule.’

Buck shuffled his feet and eyed me disagreeably. I suppose it is hard to think kindly of a man who has broken your leg. It was plain that, with Mr MacGinnis, bygones were by no means bygones.

I rose.

‘Well, I’m sorry you should have had the trouble of coming here for nothing. Let me see you out. Single file, please.’

Sam looked aggrieved.

‘You turn it down?’

‘I do.’

‘One moment. Let’s have this thing clear. Do you realize what you’re up against? Don’t think it’s only Buck and me you’ve got to tackle. All the boys are here, waiting round the corner, the same gang that came the other night. Be sensible, sonny. You don’t stand a dog’s chance. I shouldn’t like to see you get hurt. And you never know what may not happen. The boys are pretty sore at you because of what you did that night. I shouldn’t act like a bonehead, sonny–honest.’

There was a kindly ring in his voice which rather touched me. Between him and me there had sprung up an odd sort of friendship. He meant business; but he would, I knew, be genuinely sorry if I came to harm. And I could see that he was quite sincere in his belief that I was in a tight corner and that my chances against the Combine were infinitesimal. I imagine that, with victory so apparently certain, he had had difficulty in persuading his allies to allow him to make his offer.

But he had overlooked one thing–the telephone. That he should have made this mistake surprised me. If it had been Buck, I could have understood it. Buck’s was a mind which lent itself to such blunders. From Sam I had expected better things, especially as the telephone had been so much in evidence of late. He had used it himself only half an hour ago.

I clung to the thought of the telephone. It gave me the quiet satisfaction of the gambler who holds the unforeseen ace. The situation was in my hands. The police, I knew, had been profoundly stirred by Mr MacGinnis’s previous raid. When I called them up, as I proposed to do directly the door had closed on the ambassadors, there would be no lack of response. It would not again be a case of Inspector Bones and Constable Johnson to the rescue. A great cloud of willing helpers would swoop to our help.

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