and gallant gentleman full in the face, and left the Vestry.
The excitement, at this moment painfully intense, was heightened to
an acute degree when Captain Banger rose, and also left the Vestry.
After a few moments of profound silence – one of those breathless
pauses never to be forgotten – Mr. Chib (of Tucket’s Terrace, and
the father of the Vestry) rose. He said that words and looks had
passed in that assembly, replete with consequences which every
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feeling mind must deplore. Time pressed. The sword was drawn, and
while he spoke the scabbard might be thrown away. He moved that
those honourable gentlemen who had left the Vestry be recalled, and
required to pledge themselves upon their honour that this affair
should go no farther. The motion being by a general union of
parties unanimously agreed to (for everybody wanted to have the
belligerents there, instead of out of sight: which was no fun at
all), Mr. Magg was deputed to recover Captain Banger, and Mr. Chib
himself to go in search of Mr. Tiddypot. The Captain was found in
a conspicuous position, surveying the passing omnibuses from the
top step of the front-door immediately adjoining the beadle’s box;
Mr. Tiddypot made a desperate attempt at resistance, but was
overpowered by Mr. Chib (a remarkably hale old gentleman of eightytwo),
and brought back in safety.
Mr. Tiddypot and the Captain being restored to their places, and
glaring on each other, were called upon by the chair to abandon all
homicidal intentions, and give the Vestry an assurance that they
did so. Mr. Tiddypot remained profoundly silent. The Captain
likewise remained profoundly silent, saying that he was observed by
those around him to fold his arms like Napoleon Buonaparte, and to
snort in his breathing – actions but too expressive of gunpowder.
The most intense emotion now prevailed. Several members clustered
in remonstrance round the Captain, and several round Mr. Tiddypot;
but, both were obdurate. Mr. Chib then presented himself amid
tremendous cheering, and said, that not to shrink from the
discharge of his painful duty, he must now move that both
honourable gentlemen be taken into custody by the beadle, and
conveyed to the nearest police-office, there to be held to bail.
The union of parties still continuing, the motion was seconded by
Mr. Wigsby – on all usual occasions Mr. Chib’s opponent – and
rapturously carried with only one dissentient voice. This was
Dogginson’s, who said from his place ‘Let ’em fight it out with
fistes;’ but whose coarse remark was received as it merited.
The beadle now advanced along the floor of the Vestry, and beckoned
with his cocked hat to both members. Every breath was suspended.
To say that a pin might have been heard to fall, would be feebly to
express the all-absorbing interest and silence. Suddenly,
enthusiastic cheering broke out from every side of the Vestry.
Captain Banger had risen – being, in fact, pulled up by a friend on
either side, and poked up by a friend behind.
The Captain said, in a deep determined voice, that he had every
respect for that Vestry and every respect for that chair; that he
also respected the honourable gentleman of Gumpton House; but, that
he respected his honour more. Hereupon the Captain sat down,
leaving the whole Vestry much affected. Mr. Tiddypot instantly
rose, and was received with the same encouragement. He likewise
said – and the exquisite art of this orator communicated to the
observation an air of freshness and novelty – that he too had every
respect for that Vestry; that he too had every respect for that
chair. That he too respected the honourable and gallant gentleman
of Wilderness Walk; but, that he too respected his honour more.
‘Hows’ever,’ added the distinguished Vestryman, ‘if the honourable
and gallant gentleman’s honour is never more doubted and damaged
than it is by me, he’s all right.’ Captain Banger immediately
started up again, and said that after those observations, involving
as they did ample concession to his honour without compromising the
honour of the honourable gentleman, he would be wanting in honour
as well as in generosity, if he did not at once repudiate all