sharp. If they see us or hear us, over it goes.’
Pea’s wisdom being indisputable, there was nothing for it but to
sit there and be blown through, for another half-hour. The waterrats
thinking it wise to abscond at the end of that time without
commission of felony, we shot out, disappointed, with the tide.
‘Grim they look, don’t they?’ said Pea, seeing me glance over my
shoulder at the lights upon the bridge, and downward at their long
crooked reflections in the river.
‘Very,’ said I, ‘and make one think with a shudder of Suicides.
What a night for a dreadful leap from that parapet!’
‘Aye, but Waterloo’s the favourite bridge for making holes in the
water from,’ returned Pea. ‘By the bye – avast pulling, lads! –
would you like to speak to Waterloo on the subject?’
My face confessing a surprised desire to have some friendly
conversation with Waterloo Bridge, and my friend Pea being the most
obliging of men, we put about, pulled out of the force of the
stream, and in place of going at great speed with the tide, began
to strive against it, close in shore again. Every colour but black
seemed to have departed from the world. The air was black, the
water was black, the barges and hulks were black, the piles were
black, the buildings were black, the shadows were only a deeper
shade of black upon a black ground. Here and there, a coal fire in
an iron cresset blazed upon a wharf; but, one knew that it too had
been black a little while ago, and would be black again soon.
Uncomfortable rushes of water suggestive of gurgling and drowning,
ghostly rattlings of iron chains, dismal clankings of discordant
engines, formed the music that accompanied the dip of our oars and
their rattling in the rowlocks. Even the noises had a black sound
to me – as the trumpet sounded red to the blind man.
Our dexterous boat’s crew made nothing of the tide, and pulled us
gallantly up to Waterloo Bridge. Here Pea and I disembarked,
passed under the black stone archway, and climbed the steep stone
steps. Within a few feet of their summit, Pea presented me to
Waterloo (or an eminent toll-taker representing that structure),
muffled up to the eyes in a thick shawl, and amply great-coated and
fur-capped.
Waterloo received us with cordiality, and observed of the night
that it was ‘a Searcher.’ He had been originally called the Strand
Bridge, he informed us, but had received his present name at the
suggestion of the proprietors, when Parliament had resolved to vote
three hundred thousand pound for the erection of a monument in
honour of the victory. Parliament took the hint (said Waterloo,
with the least flavour of misanthropy) and saved the money. Of
course the late Duke of Wellington was the first passenger, and of
course he paid his penny, and of course a noble lord preserved it
evermore. The treadle and index at the toll-house (a most
ingenious contrivance for rendering fraud impossible), were
invented by Mr. Lethbridge, then property-man at Drury Lane
Theatre.
Was it suicide, we wanted to know about? said Waterloo. Ha! Well,
he had seen a good deal of that work, he did assure us. He had
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Dickens, Charles – Reprinted Pieces
prevented some. Why, one day a woman, poorish looking, came in
between the hatch, slapped down a penny, and wanted to go on
without the change! Waterloo suspected this, and says to his mate,
‘give an eye to the gate,’ and bolted after her. She had got to
the third seat between the piers, and was on the parapet just a
going over, when he caught her and gave her in charge. At the
police office next morning, she said it was along of trouble and a
bad husband.
‘Likely enough,’ observed Waterloo to Pea and myself, as he
adjusted his chin in his shawl. ‘There’s a deal of trouble about,
you see – and bad husbands too!’
Another time, a young woman at twelve o’clock in the open day, got
through, darted along; and, before Waterloo could come near her,
jumped upon the parapet, and shot herself over sideways. Alarm