complimented him highly on his powers of composition, and was quite
Page 9
Dickens, Charles – Reprinted Pieces
charmed to have the agreeable duty of discharging him. A
collection was made for the ‘poor fellow,’ as he was called in the
reports, and I left the court with a comfortable sense of being
universally regarded as a sort of monster. Next day comes to me a
friend of mine, the governor of a large prison. ‘Why did you ever
go to the Police-Office against that man,’ says he, ‘without coming
to me first? I know all about him and his frauds. He lodged in
the house of one of my warders, at the very time when he first
wrote to you; and then he was eating spring-lamb at eighteen-pence
a pound, and early asparagus at I don’t know how much a bundle!’
On that very same day, and in that very same hour, my injured
gentleman wrote a solemn address to me, demanding to know what
compensation I proposed to make him for his having passed the night
in a ‘loathsome dungeon.’ And next morning an Irish gentleman, a
member of the same fraternity, who had read the case, and was very
well persuaded I should be chary of going to that Police-Office
again, positively refused to leave my door for less than a
sovereign, and, resolved to besiege me into compliance, literally
‘sat down’ before it for ten mortal hours. The garrison being well
provisioned, I remained within the walls; and he raised the siege
at midnight with a prodigious alarum on the bell.
The Begging-Letter Writer often has an extensive circle of
acquaintance. Whole pages of the ‘Court Guide’ are ready to be
references for him. Noblemen and gentlemen write to say there
never was such a man for probity and virtue. They have known him
time out of mind, and there is nothing they wouldn’t do for him.
Somehow, they don’t give him that one pound ten he stands in need
of; but perhaps it is not enough – they want to do more, and his
modesty will not allow it. It is to be remarked of his trade that
it is a very fascinating one. He never leaves it; and those who
are near to him become smitten with a love of it, too, and sooner
or later set up for themselves. He employs a messenger – man,
woman, or child. That messenger is certain ultimately to become an
independent Begging-Letter Writer. His sons and daughters succeed
to his calling, and write begging-letters when he is no more. He
throws off the infection of begging-letter writing, like the
contagion of disease. What Sydney Smith so happily called ‘the
dangerous luxury of dishonesty’ is more tempting, and more
catching, it would seem, in this instance than in any other.
He always belongs to a Corresponding-Society of Begging-Letter
Writers. Any one who will, may ascertain this fact. Give money
to-day in recognition of a begging-letter, – no matter how unlike a
common begging-letter, – and for the next fortnight you will have a
rush of such communications. Steadily refuse to give; and the
begging-letters become Angels’ visits, until the Society is from
some cause or other in a dull way of business, and may as well try
you as anybody else. It is of little use inquiring into the
Begging-Letter Writer’s circumstances. He may be sometimes
accidentally found out, as in the case already mentioned (though
that was not the first inquiry made); but apparent misery is always
a part of his trade, and real misery very often is, in the
intervals of spring-lamb and early asparagus. It is naturally an
incident of his dissipated and dishonest life.
That the calling is a successful one, and that large sums of money
are gained by it, must be evident to anybody who reads the Police
Reports of such cases. But, prosecutions are of rare occurrence,
relatively to the extent to which the trade is carried on. The
cause of this is to be found (as no one knows better than the
Begging-Letter Writer, for it is a part of his speculation) in the
aversion people feel to exhibit themselves as having been imposed