Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable;
it often stimulates the creativity of the persons
whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order
if they have had a part in the decision that caused the
order to be issued.
When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa,
the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing
in precision machine parts, had the opportunity
to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he
would not meet the promised delivery date. The work
already scheduled in the shop and the short completion
time needed for this order made it seem impossible for
him to accept the order.
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work
and rush the order through, he called everybody together,
explained the situation to them, and told them
how much it would mean to the company and to them if
they could make it possible to produce the order on
time. Then he started asking questions:
“Is there anything we can do to handle this order?”
“Can anyone think of different ways to process it
through the shop that will make it possible to take the
order?”
“Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel
assignments that would help?”
The employees came up with many ideas and insisted
that he take the order. They approached it with a “We
can do it” attitude, and the order was accepted, produced
and delivered on time.
An effective leader will use . . .
PRINCIPLE 4
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5
LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE
Years ago the General Electric Company was faced with
the delicate task of removing Charles Steinmetz from
the head of a department. Steinmetz, a genius of the first
magnitude when it came to electricity, was a failure as
the head of the calculating department. Yet the company
didn’t dare offend the man. He was indispensable – and
highly sensitive. So they gave him a new title. They
made him Consulting Engineer of the General Electric
Company – a new title for work he was already doing –
and let someone else head up the department.
Steinmetz was happy.
So were the officers of G.E. They had gently maneuvered
their most temperamental star, and they had done
it without a storm – by letting him save face.
Letting one save face! How important, how vitally important
that is! And how few of us ever stop to think of
it! We ride roughshod over the feelings of others, getting
our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a
child or an employee in front of others, without even
considering the hurt to the other person’s pride.
Whereas a few minutes’ thought, a considerate word or
two, a genuine understanding of the other person’s attitude,
would go so far toward alleviating the sting!
Let’s remember that the next time we are faced with
the distasteful necessity of discharging or reprimanding
an employee.
“Firing employees is not much fun. Getting fired is
even less fun.” (I’m quoting now from a letter written
me by Marshall A. Granger, a certified public accountant.)
“Our business is mostly seasonal. Therefore we
have to let a lot of people go after the income tax rush is
over.
It’s a byword in our profession that no one enjoys
wielding the ax. Consequently, the custom has developed
of getting it over as soon as possible, and usually
in the following way: ‘Sit down, Mr. Smith. The season’s
over, and we don’t seem to see any more assignments for
you. Of course, you understood you were only employed
for the busy season anyhow, etc., etc.’
“The effect on these people is one of disappointment
and a feeling of being ‘let down.’ Most of them are in the
accounting field for life, and they retain no particular
love for the firm that drops them so casually.
“I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel go
with a little more tact and consideration. So I call each
one in only after carefully thinking over his or her work
during the winter. And I’ve said something like this:
‘Mr. Smith, you’ve done a fine job (if he has). That time
we sent you to Newark, you had a tough assignment.
You were on the spot, but you came through with flying
colors, and we want you to know the firm is proud of
you. You’ve got the stuff – you’re going a long way,
wherever you’re working. This firm believes in you, and
is rooting for you, and we don’t want you to forget it.’
“Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better about
being fired. They don’t feel ‘let down.’ They know if we
had work for them, we’d keep them on. And when we
need them again, they come to us with a keen personal
affection.”
At one session of our course, two class members discussed
the negative effects of faultfinding versus the
positive effects of letting the other person save face.
Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incident
that occurred in his company: “At one of our production
meetings, a vice president was asking very
pointed questions of one of our production supervisors
regarding a production process. His tone of voice was
aggressive and aimed at pointing out faulty performance
on the part of the supervisor. Not wanting to be embarrassed
in front of his peers, the supervisor was evasive
in his responses. This caused the vice president to lose
his temper, berate the supervisor and accuse him of
lying.
“Any working relationship that might have existed
prior to this encounter was destroyed in a few brief moments.
This supervisor, who was basically a good
worker, was useless to our company from that time on. A
few months later he left our firm and went to work for a
competitor, where I understand he is doing a fine job.”
Another class member, Anna Mazzone, related how a
similar incident had occurred at her job – but what a
difference in approach and results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketing
specialist for a food packer, was given her first
major assignment – the test-marketing of a new product.
She told the class: “When the results of the test came in,
I was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning,
and the entire test had to be done all over again.
To make this worse, I had no time to discuss it with my
boss before the meeting in which I was to make my
report on the project.
“When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking
with fright. I had all I could do to keep from breaking
down, but I resolved I would not cry and have all those
men make remarks about women not being able to handle
a management job because they are too emotional. I
made my report briefly and stated that due to an error I
would repeat the study before the next meeting. I sat
down, expecting my boss to blow up.
“Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked
that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on
a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat
survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company.
He Assured me, in front of all my colleagues, that
he had faith in me and I knew I had done my best, and
that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was
the reason for the failure.
I left that meeting with my head in the air and
with the determination that I would never let that boss
of mine down again.”
Even if we are right and the other person is definitely
wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose
face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: “I have no right to say
or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes.
What matters is not what I think of him, but what he
thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a
crime.”
A real leader will always follow . . .
PRINCIPLE 5
Let the other person save face.
6
HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON
TO SUCCESS
Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine. He had a dog-and-
pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses
and vaudeville shows. I loved to watch Pete train new
dogs for his act. I noticed that the moment a dog showed
the slightest improvement, Pete patted and praised
him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about
it.
That’s nothing new. Animal trainers have been using
that same technique for centuries.
Why, I wonder, don’t we use the same common sense
when trying to change people that we use when trying
to change dogs? Why don’t we use meat instead of a
whip? Why don’t we use praise instead of condemnation?
Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That
inspires the other person to keep on improving.
In his book I Ain’t Much, Baby-But I’m All I Got,
the psychologist Jess Lair comments: “Praise is like sunlight
to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and
grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too
ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we
are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine
of praise.” *
* Jess Lair, I Ain’t Much, Baby – But I’m All I Got (Greenwich, Conn.:
Fawcett, 1976), p . 248.
I can look back at my own life and see where a few
words of praise have sharply changed my entire future.
Can’t you say the same thing about your life? History is
replete with striking illustrations of the sheer witchery
raise.
For example, many years ago a boy of ten was working
in a factory in Naples, He longed to be a singer, but his
first teacher discouraged him. “You can’t sing,” he said.
“You haven’t any voice at all. It sounds like the wind in
the shutters.”
But his mother, a poor peasant woman, put her arms
about him and praised him and told him she knew he
could sing, she could already see an improvement, and
she went barefoot in order to save money to pay for his
music lessons. That peasant mother’s praise and encouragement
changed that boy’s life. His name was Enrico
Caruso, and he became the greatest and most
famous opera singer of his age.
In the early nineteenth century, a young man in London
aspired to be a writer. But everything seemed to be
against him. He had never been able to attend school
more than four years. His father had been flung in jail
because he couldn’t pay his debts, and this young man
often knew the pangs of hunger. Finally, he got a job
pasting labels on bottles of blacking in a rat-infested
warehouse, and he slept at night in a dismal attic room
with two other boys – guttersnipes from the slums of
London. He had so little confidence in his ability to
write that he sneaked out and mailed his first manuscript
in the dead of night so nobody would laugh at him. Story
after story was refused. Finally the great day came when
one was accepted. True, he wasn’t paid a shilling for it,
but one editor had praised him. One editor had given
him recognition. He was so thrilled that he wandered
aimlessly around the streets with tears rolling down his
cheeks.
The praise, the recognition, that he received through
getting one story in print, changed his whole life, for if
it hadn’t been for that encouragement, he might have
spent his entire life working in rat-infested factories.
You may have heard of that boy. His name was Charles
Dickens.
Another boy in London made his living as a clerk in a
dry-goods store. He had to get up at five o’clock, sweep
out the store, and slave for fourteen hours a day. It was
sheer drudgery and he despised it. After two years, he
could stand it no longer, so he got up one morning and,
without waiting for breakfast, tramped fifteen miles to
talk to his mother, who was working as a housekeeper.
He was frantic. He pleaded with her. He wept. He
swore he would kill himself if he had to remain in the
shop any longer. Then he wrote a long, pathetic letter to
his old schoolmaster, declaring that he was heartbroken,
that he no longer wanted to live. His old schoolmaster
gave him a little praise and assured him that he really
was very intelligent and fitted for finer things and offered
him a job as a teacher.