Carnegie, Dale – How To Win Friends and Influence People

Gunter Schmidt, who took our course in West Germany,

told of an employee in the food store he managed

who was negligent about putting the proper price tags

on the shelves where the items were displayed. This

caused confusion and customer complaints. Reminders,

admonitions, confrontations, with her about this did not

do much good. Finally, Mr. Schmidt called her into his

office and told her he was appointing her Supervisor of

Price Tag Posting for the entire store and she would be

responsible for keeping all of the shelves properly

tagged. This new responsibility and title changed her

attitude completely, and she fulfiled her duties satisfactorily

from then on.

Childish? Perhaps. But that is what they said to Napoleon

when he created the Legion of Honor and distributed

15,000 crosses to his soldiers and made

eighteen of his generals “Marshals of France” and called

his troops the “Grand Army.” Napoleon was criticized

for giving “toys” to war-hardened veterans, and Napoleon

replied, “Men are ruled by toys.”

This technique of giving titles and authority worked

for Napoleon and it will work for you. For example, a

friend of mine, Mrs. Ernest Gent of Scarsdale, New

York, was troubled by boys running across and destroying

her lawn. She tried criticism. She tried coaxing. Neither

worked. Then she tried giving the worst sinner in

the gang a title and a feeling of authority. She made him

her “detective” and put him in charge of keeping all

trespassers off her lawn. That solved her problem. Her

“detective” built a bonfire in the backyard, heated an

iron red hot, and threatened to brand any boy who

stepped on the lawn.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines

in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or

behavior:

1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you

cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself

and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.

2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person

to do.

3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other

person really wants.

4. Consider the benefits that person will receive

from doing what you suggest.

5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.

6. When you make your request, put it in a form

that will convey to the other person the idea that he

personally will benefit. We could give a curt order like

this: ” John, we have customers coming in tomorrow

and I need the stockroom cleaned out. So sweep it out,

put the stock in neat piles on the shelves and polish

the counter.” Or we could express the same idea by

showing John the benefits he will get from doing the

task: “John, we have a job that should be completed

right away. If it is done now, we won’t be faced with

it later. I am bringing some customers in tomorrow to

show our facilities. I would like to show them the

stockroom, but it is in poor shape. If you could sweep

it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves, and

polish the counter, it would make us look efficient and

you will have done your part to provide a good company

image.”

Will John be happy about doing what you suggest?

Probably not very happy, but happier than if you had not

pointed out the benefits. Assuming you know that John

has pride in the way his stockroom looks and is interested

in contributing to the company image, he will be

more likely to be cooperative. It also will have been

pointed out to John that the job would have to be done

eventually and by doing it now, he won’t be faced with

it later.

It is naïve to believe you will always get a favorable

reaction from other persons when you use these approaches,

but the experience of most people shows that

you are more likely to change attitudes this way than by

not using these principles – and if you increase your successes

by even a mere 10 percent, you have become 10

percent more effective as a leader than you were before

– and that is your benefit.

People are more likely to do what you would like them

to do when you use . . .

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing

the thing you suggest.

In a Nutshell

BE A LEADER

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s

attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish

this:

PRINCIPLE 1

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

PRINCIPLE 2

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

PRINCIPLE 3

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other

person.

PRINCIPLE 4

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

PRINCIPLE 5

Let the other person save face.

PRINCIPLE 6

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every

improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in

your praise.”

PRINCIPLE 7

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

PRINCIPLE 8

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you

suggest.

A Shortcut to

Distinction

by Lowell Thomas

This biographical information about Dale Carnegie was

written as an introduction to the original edition of

How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is reprinted

in this edition to give the readers additional

background on Dale Carnegie.

It was a cold January night in 1935, but the weather

couldn’t keep them away. Two thousand five hundred

men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the

Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat

was filled by half-past seven. At eight o’clock, the eager

crowd was still pouring in. The spacious balcony was

soon jammed. Presently even standing space was at a

premium, and hundreds of people, tired after navigating

a day in business, stood up for an hour and a half that

night to witness – what?

A fashion show?

A six-day bicycle race or a personal appearance by

Clark Gable?

No. These people had been lured there by a newspaper

ad. Two evenings previously, they had seen this

full-page announcement in the New York Sun staring

them in the face:

Learn to Speak Effectively

Prepare for Leadership

Old stuff? Yes, but believe it or not, in the most sophisticated

town on earth, during a depression with 20

percent of the population on relief, twenty-five hundred

people had left their homes and hustled to the hotel in

response to that ad.

The people who responded were of the upper economic

strata – executives, employers and professionals.

These men and women had come to hear the opening

gun of an ultramodern, ultrapractical course in “Effective

Speaking and Influencing Men in Business”- a

course given by the Dale Carnegie Institute of Effective

Speaking and Human Relations.

Why were they there, these twenty-five hundred business

men and women?

Because of a sudden hunger for more education because

of the depression?

Apparently not, for this same course had been playing

to packed houses in New York City every season for the

preceding twenty-four years. During that time, more

than fifteen thousand business and professional people

had been trained by Dale Carnegie. Even large, skeptical,

conservative organizations such as the Westinghouse

Electric Company, the McGraw-Hill Publishing

Company, the Brooklyn Union Gas Company, the

Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce, the American Institute

of Electrical Engineers and the New York Telephone

Company have had this training conducted in

their own offices for the benefit of their members and

executives.

The fact that these people, ten or twenty years after

leaving grade school, high school or college, come and

take this training is a glaring commentary on the shocking

deficiencies of our educational system.

What do adults really want to study? That is an important

question; and in order to answer it, the University

of Chicago, the American Association for Adult Education,

and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools made a survey

over a two-year period.

That survey revealed that the prime interest of adults

is health. It also revealed that their second interest is in

developing skill in human relationships – they want to

learn the technique of getting along with and influencing

other people. They don’t want to become public

speakers, and they don’t want to listen to a lot of high

sounding talk about psychology; they want suggestions

they can use immediately in business, in social contacts

and in the home.

So that was what adults wanted to study, was it?

“All right,” said the people making the survey. “Fine.

If that is what they want, we’ll give it to them.”

Looking around for a textbook, they discovered that

no working manual had ever been written to help people

solve their daily problems in human relationships.

Here was a fine kettle of fish! For hundreds of years,

learned volumes had been written on Greek and Latin

and higher mathematics – topics about which the average

adult doesn’t give two hoots. But on the one subject

on which he has a thirst for knowledge, a veritable passion

for guidance and help – nothing!

This explained the presence of twenty-five hundred

eager adults crowding into the grand ballroom of the

Hotel Pennsylvania in response to a newspaper advertisement.

Here, apparently, at last was the thing for

which they had long been seeking.

Back in high school and college, they had pored over

books, believing that knowledge alone was the open sesame

to financial – and professional rewards.

But a few years in the rough-and-tumble of business

and professional life had brought sharp dissillusionment.

They had seen some of the most important business

successes won by men who possessed, in addition

to their knowledge, the ability to talk well, to win people

to their way of thinking, and to “sell” themselves and

their ideas.

They soon discovered that if one aspired to wear the

captain’s cap and navigate the ship of business, personality

and the ability to talk are more important than a

knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin from Harvard.

The advertisement in the New York Sun promised that

the meeting would be highly entertaining. It was.

Eighteen people who had taken the course were marshaled

in front of the loudspeaker – and fifteen of them

were given precisely seventy-five seconds each to tell

his or her story. Only seventy-five seconds of talk, then

“bang” went the gavel, and the chairman shouted,

“Time! Next speaker!”

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