“Well. All right. Miss Joan, you’re good to me.”
“Don’t you dare call me ‘Miss’ at a time like this or swelp me, I’ll make you miss your date. Rush, rush, hon; go get beautiful. Kiss me good-night; I’ll be asleep before you are out of the bath. And, Winsome—no exercises tomorrow.”
“But—”
“Smile, I didn’t break your dolly. I want to sleep late and I want you to sleep late so that I won’t wake up from knowing you are fidgeting. You’ll get all the classic postures you need in bed tonight. Stop blushing. Give him something special from me, only don’t tell him. Or do, I don’t give a darn. Kiss me quick and let me go to sleep.”
Her maid-chum-nurse kissed her not too quickly and left hurriedly. Joan Eunice pretended to be asleep when Winifred walked silently from the bath through the room, on into her own room, and the door sealed behind her.
(Well, twin, you lucked through again, didn’t you?) (Eunice, I’ve told you time and again that I am not going to stroll Gay Street while I’m a virgin. Might be habit forming.) (Could be, with our cuddly little pet who enjoys a gang bang. But I didn’t mean her. I meant at Safe Harbor.)
(You, call that luck? I call it the most frustrating thing that ever happened to me. Eunice, I needed the Money Hum as badly as Jake did.) (I call it luck. Boss darling, I may be dead but I can still read a calendar. I was steady on twenty-eight-and-a-half days for more than ten years—and we’ve still been on it since we amalgamated. We’re fertile as a turtle, Myrtle, this minute—and will be, for two or three days. Jake has promised you that the next time won’t be frustrating. . . and you’ll be as carefree as a cheerleader I told you about. Scan me, Fanny? So run don’t walk and get that implant—about ten o’clock tomorrow morning. Unless you plan to get us benched right away. Do you?)
(Eunice, you’re talking non— No, you’re not. I will do something about it. Tomorrow. But ‘benched right away’ is an exaggeration. I’m new at this while you’ve been through one pregnancy. But your aunt probably watched you like a hawk—) (She did. Elsie Dinsmore had a livelier time.) (—but I’ve sat through three, as a husband. ‘Benched’ is just a short time, at the end. And pregnancy doesn’t kill a woman’s interest. My angelic first wife, Agnes, would have tried it on the way to the hospital if I hadn’t had more sense about it than she had. Just the same, I’ll be good. I’ll be careful, rather.)
(Joan, I wasn’t trying to talk you out of it. I just didn’t want us knocked up by accident. Say through a playful romp with Judgie Wudgie. Or Alec. But if you want to, that’s fine. Marry Jake and get pregnant at once. Or get pregnant by him and then marry him; he might be more tractable.)
(Eunice, I’m not planning on getting married in any hurry if at all.) (So? I’ve heard you propose to Jake at least four times.)
(Yes, yes! If Jake agreed, I would; I wouldn’t let him down. But he won’t, if ever, until these legal finagles are cleared up. Which might take years. Do you remember how long it took to get the courts to okay the Sky Trails stock conversions? That was clear-cut compared with this and did not involve as much money. Eunice, 1 propose to Jake for his morale; I don’t care whether he makes an ‘honest woman’ of me or not, I just want him to take us to bed. Marriage doesn’t figure.)
(Twin, your naivete surprises me. Didn’t you hear Winnie? Marriage isn’t planned, it just happens. No girl is more likely to wind up in a hotel room, married to a man she didn’t even know at sundown the night before, than a chick who isn’t going to get married ‘any time soon.’ Boss, you marry Jake. Marry him as soon as he will agree to it—for you were talking sense when you pointed out that no other man could both understand you and not be dazzled by your money. In the meantime, it’s smart to go contra.)