“Hmm. Jake, you’re a stiff-necked old bastard; it wouldn’t do any harm. All right, all right. But get me that mirror. Look, you can get me one now. Go into my bathroom, usual excuse, and look around. Search. Four or five small mirrors in there, drawers and such—or were the last time I was on my feet. Almost certainly still are. Just don’t let a nurse see it. In your pocket. Or under your jacket.”
“Why don’t you simply ask for one?”
“Because they won’t let me have one, Jake. You may think I’m paranoid but I am being persecuted by this high-and-mighty doctor. Won’t let me see my new face in a mirror. Okay, it’s probably scarred; I don’t care. Won’t let me look at myself at all. When they work on me they put up a chin screen; I haven’t even seen my hands. Would you believe it, I don’t even know what color I am. Am I a soul? Or a honk? Or something else? It’s maddening.”
“Johann, it might be literally maddening for you to see yourself. Before you have your strength back.”
“What? Oh, be your age, Jake; you know me better than that. If I’m the ugliest thing since wart hogs and covered with purple stripes, I can take it.” Johann grinned. “I was ugly as sin before the operation; any change for the worse can’t be great. But I tell you no lie, old friend; if they keep treating me like a retarded child, they really will drive me off the rails.”
Salomon sighed. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Johann, but it is no news to me that they won’t let you see yourself in a mirror—”
“What?”
“Steady down. I’ve discussed it with Dr. Hedrick and with the psychiatrist working with him. They are of the opinion that you could suffer a severe emotional shock—one that might give you a grave setback, even (as you, say) ‘drive you off the rails’—if you see your new self before you are fully well and strong.”
Johann Smith did not answer at once. Then he said quietly, “Pig whistle. I know I’m physically something else now. What harm do they think it could do me?”
“The psychiatrist mentioned the possibility of a split personality.”
“Move around and look me in the eyes. Jake Salomon, do you believe that?”
“My opinion is neither relevant nor competent. I am not going to buck your physicians. Nor help you to outwit them.”
“So that’s how the wind sets, Jake…I am sorry to be forced to say this—but you are not the only lawyer in this city.”
“So I know. I am sorry—truly sorry!—to be forced to say this, Johann—but I am the only lawyer you can turn to.”
“What do you mean?”
“Johann, you are now a ward of the Court. I am your guardian.”
Johann Smith was slow to answer, then barely whispered: “Conspiracy. I never thought it of you, Jake.”
“Johann, Johann!”
“Do you mean to keep me locked up forever? If not, what’s the price to turn me loose? Is the Judge in on it? And Hedrick?”
Salomon controlled himself. “Please, Johann, let me speak. I’m going to pretend that you never said what you did say. . . and I’ll have a transcript of the proceedings brought here for you to see. Hell, I’ll have the Judge himself fetch them. But you’ve got to listen.”
“I’m listening. How can I help listening?—I’m a prisoner.”
“Johann, you will cease being a ward as soon as you are able to appear in court—in person—and convince the Judge—Judge McCampbell, it is, an honest man as you know—convince .McCampbell that you are no longer non compos mentis. He took the step reluctantly—and I had to fight to be named your guardian, as I was not the petitioner.”
“So? And who asked to have me committed?”
“Johanna Darlington Seward, et aliae—meaning your other three granddaughters, too.”
“I see,” Johann said slowly. “Jake, I owe you an apology.”
Salomon snorted. “For what? How can you do or say anything calling for an apology when you are legally non compos mentis?”
“Whew! Hand me the traditional piece of snuff; that was razor sharp. Dear little Johanna—I should have drowned her at birth. Her mother, my daughter Evelyn, used to shove her into my lap and remind me that she was my namesake. Jake, the only thing that brat ever did for me was to pee on my trousers—on purpose. So June and Marla and Elinor are in it, too. Not surprising.”