Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

The tears were running freely now, but I didn’t bother trying to hide them. I just didn’t care anymore. “Mostly what you’ve done,” I continued, “is to keep me company. I’ve felt scared and alone ever since I hit this dimension . . . or would have if you hadn’t been along. I’m so screaming afraid of making a mistake that I’d probably freeze up and do nothing unless I had somebody in tow to applaud when I did right and to carp at me when I did wrong . . . just so I’d know the difference. That’s how insecure I am . . . I don’t even trust my own judgment as to whether I’m right or not in what I do! The trouble is, I haven’t been doing so well in the friendship department lately. Aahz walked out on me, the M.Y.T.H. team thinks I’ve deserted them . . . heck, I even managed to offend J.R. by trying to say thanks with my wallet instead of my mouth.”

It occurred to me I was starting to ramble. Making a feeble pass at my tear-streaked face with my sleeve, I forced a smile.

“Anyway, I can’t see imposing on you, either as a friend or a business associate, just to hold my hand in troubled times. That doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for what you’ve done or that I’m trying to get rid of you. I’d appreciate it if you stuck around but I don’t think I have any right to ask you to.”

Having run out of things to say, I finished with a half hearted shrug. Strangely enough, after bearing my soul and clearing my mind of the things which had been troubling me, I felt worlds better.

“Are you through?”

Kalvin was still hovering patiently with his arms folded. Perhaps it was my imagination, but there seemed to be a terse edge to his voice.