Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

I’ll admit to not being thrilled by the neighborhood Aahz’s mother lived in once we found it. Not that it looked particularly rough or dirty . . . at least no dirtier than the rest of the dimension. It’s just that it was . . . well, shabby. The buildings and streets were so run-down that I found it depressing to think anyone, much less the mother of a friend of mine, would live there.

“I’ll wait for you here on the street,” Pookie announced as I emerged from the taxi.

I looked at her, surprised.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“I figure it’s more important to guard your escape route,” she said. “I don’t think there’s any danger inside, unless the place falls down when you knock on the door . . . and I couldn’t help there anyway. Why? Are you expecting more trouble than you can handle from one old lady?”

Since I didn’t have a snappy retort for that, I proceeded up the porch steps to the door. There was a list of names with a row of buttons beside them. I found the name of Aahz’s mother with no difficulty, and pressed the button next to it.

A few moments later, a voice suddenly rasped from the wall next to my elbow.

“Who is it?”

It only took a few seconds for me to figure out that it was some kind of speaker system.

“It’s . . . I’ma friend of your son, Aahz. . . Aahzmandius, that is. I was wondering if I might talk to you for a few moments?”

There was a long pause before the reply came back. “I suppose if you’re already here I might as well talk to you. Come right up.”

There was a sudden raucous buzzing at the door. I waited patiently, and in a few moments it stopped. I continued waiting.