Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“Where to?” the driver said, casually forcing his vehicle back into the flow of traffic.

“Urn, just take me to a hotel.”

“Expensive . . . cheap . . . what?”

“Oh, something moderate, maybe a bit on the inexpensive side.”

“Right.”

I was actually pretty well set financially. A money belt around my waist had over two thousand in gold I had brought along to cover expenses on my search. Still, there was no sense throwing it away needlessly, and I figured since didn’t plan to spend much time in my room, I wouldn’t need anything particularly grand.

Within the first few blocks, however, I had pause to reconsider the wisdom of my choice of vehicles. As far as I could tell, the lizards were blindfolded to prevent their animal survival instinct from interfering with the driver’s orders. I couldn’t figure out how he was controlling them but he seemed determined to maintain a breakneck pace regardless of minor considerations like safety and common sense.

“So, have you two been on Perv long?”

The driver’s voice dragged me back to the present my mind had been trying so desperately to ignore. “Just got here today. In fact.”

Suddenly, I zeroed in on what he had said.

“Excuse me, did you say ‘you two?’”

The driver bobbed his head in acknowledgment. “That’s right. It isn’t often I get a Klahd or a Djin, much less one of each in the same fare.” He not only knew how many we were, he had spotted what we were! Needless to say, the news was not welcome.

“What the . . .” Kalvin started, but I silenced him with a gesture. |