Myth-Nomers & Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin

“Well then, can we get down to what the problem really is? As much as I’d like to entertain you with my life story, there are other rather pressing demands on my time.” The policeman stared at me stonily.

“All right. We’ll stick to cases. Do you know a street vendor named J.R.?”

The sudden change of subject threw me off-stride. “J.R.? Sure I know him. Don’t you remember? The last time I was here he was sitting . . .”

“How would you describe your relationship with the individual in question?” the captain interrupted.

“I guess you’d say we’re friends,” I shrugged. “I’ve been chatting with him off and on since I arrived on Perv, and, as you know, he helped me out that time I got into a fight.”

“Anything else?”

“No . . . except we’re going into business together. That is, I’ve put up the money for a venture of his.” The captain seemed taken aback.

“You mean you admit it?” he said.

A little alarm started to ring in the back of my head. “Sure. I mean, what’s so unusual about a businessman investing in a new enterprise?”

“Wait a minute. What kind of an enterprise did you think you were buying into?”

“He said he was going to open a retail storefront,” I said uneasily. “But he did say something about supplying the other street vendors for a while to build up his operating capital. Exactly what he was supplying I was never really sure.”

“You weren’t sure?”

“Well, the truth is I was in a hurry and forgot to ask. Why? What was he . . .”

“We just picked him up for smuggling! It seems your buddy and business partner was using your funds to buy and sell contraband!”