Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

I couldn’t help but notice there were some nods and mutterings of support for the youth at the other tables in the inn, and no few dark looks cast in my direction.

“All right,” I said levelly. “You’re standing up to me. Now make your point.”

“The point is you can’t just waltz in here and put moves on our women. What’s more, if you try, you’ll be sorry.”

To emphasize his words, he reached out and gave me a shove that knocked me back. I had to take a step to recover my balance.

It was suddenly very quiet in the inn. The moment seemed to hang in the air as everyone tensed and waited to see what would happen next.

Blood was pounding in my ears.

I heard the bench behind me slide as Aahz started to get up, and I signaled behind me with my hand for him to stay out of it.

“I have no intention of putting any ‘moves’ on these women either now or in the future,” I said carefully. “The young lady there came to my table and said that her friend wanted to meet me. I was about to comply. Period. That’s it. It was an effort on my part to be polite. If, as it seems, it is somehow offensive to you or anyone else here, I’ll forego the pleasure.”

I looked past him to where the girls were watching.

“Ladies,” I nodded. “Another day, perhaps.”

With that, I turned on my heel and marched out of the place . . . angry and embarrassed, but confident that I had correctly handled a dubious situation.

It didn’t help, however, that as I passed through the door, a shout from the youth came wafting after me.

“And don’t come back!”