Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

Then an idea struck me. I’d do what any other executive would do when confronted with a problem: I’d delegate it to someone else!

Striding to the door, I opened it and looked into the hall. Sure enough, my two bodyguards were still there, apparently embroiled in conversation with each other.

“Guido! Nunzio!” I called. “Come in here for a second.”

I re-entered the room and returned to my desk without waiting to see if they were responding. I needn’t have worried.

By the time I had re-seated myself, they were standing in front of me.

“I have a little assignment for you boys,” I said, smiling.

“Sure, Boss,” they chimed in chorus.

“But first, I want to check something. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve both made it clear that, in the past, you’ve had no qualms about bending the rules as situations called for it, working outside the law as it were. Is that correct?”

“That’s right.”

“No problem.”

I noticed that, though to the affirmative, their answers were slower and less enthusiastic than before.

“All right. The job I have for you has to be done secretly, with nobody knowing that I’m behind it. Not even Aahz or Bunny. Understand?”

My bodyguards looked even more uncomfortable than before, but nodded their agreement.

”Okay, here’s the job,” I said, pushing the bag of money towards them. “I want you to take this money and get rid of it.”

The two men stared at me, then exchanged glances.

“I don’t quite get you, Boss,” Guido said at last. “What do you want us to do with it?”

“I don’t care and I don’t want to know,” I said. “I just want this money back in circulation within the kingdom. Spend it or give it to charity.”