Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Uh-huh,” she said, peering at me carefully.

Whatever she saw, she didn’t like. Pushing two chairs together, she sat down next to me a put a motherly hand on my shoulder.

“Come on, Skeeve,” she said. “Tell Massha all about it. What is it that’s eating you up lately?”

“It’s this whole thing about whether or not to marry Queen Hemlock,” I said. “I just can’t seem to make up my mind. As near as I can tell, there isn’t a clear cut right answer. Any option I have seems to be loaded with negatives. Whatever I do is going to affect so many people, I’m paralytic for fear of doing the wrong thing. I’m so afraid of doing something wrong, I’m not doing anything at all.”

Massha heaved a great sigh.

“Well, I can’t make that call for you, Skeeve. Nobody can. If it’s any help, though, you should know that you’re loved, and that your friends will stand by whatever decision you reach. I know it’s rough right now, but we have every faith that you’ll do the right thing.”

I guess that was supposed to be reassuring. It flashed across my mind, however, that I really didn’t need to be reminded of how much everyone was counting on me to reach the right decision . . . when after weeks of deliberation I still didn’t have the foggiest idea of what the right decision was! Still, my apprentice was trying to help the only way she knew how, and I didn’t want to hurt her for that.

“Thanks, Massha,” I said, forcing a smile. “That does help a bit.”

“Ahem.”

I glanced up to see General Badaxe stepping forward. He had been so quiet I had forgotten he was in the room until he cleared his voice.