Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

Even though I knew they knew I was a numeric illiterate, I had gotten awfully tired of saying “Duh, I don’t know” in varying forms, and, in an effort to salvage a few shreds of my self-respect, had taken to saying instead “Let me look these over and get back to you.” Unfortunately, this meant that at any specific point in time, I had a batch of these “mystery sheets” on my desk that I felt obligated to at least try to make sense of.

Anyhoo, that’s what I was doing when a knock came at my door. In short, I was feeling inept, frustrated, and desperately in need of diversion.

“Yes?” I called eagerly, hoping beyond hope that it was news of an earthquake or attacking army or something equally disastrous that would require my immediate attention. “Who is it?”

The door opened, and Massha’s head appeared.

“You busy, Hot Stuff?” she said with the respect and deference she always shows me as my apprentice. “You’ve got a visitor.”

“Nothing that can’t wait,” I replied, hastily stacking the offensive spreadsheets and replacing them in their customary spot on the corner of my desk. “Who’s the visitor?”

“It’s Luanna. You remember, the babe who almost got us killed over in Limbo.”

In hindsight, I can see that Massha was both expressing her disapproval and trying to warn me with her description of Luanna, but at the time it didn’t register at all.

“Luanna?” I said, beaming with delight. “Sure, bring her in. Better yet, send her in.”

“Don’t worry,” Massha sniffed, disdainfully. “I wouldn’t dream of intruding on your little tete-atete.”