Yes, and thank God. Because this was the end of the line. As far as Kevin was concerned, if he never encountered the supernatural again until he was eighty, never so much as brushed up against it, it would still be too soon.
‘Also, it’s very small,’ Mr Delevan pointed out. ‘I was there when Kevin took it out of the box, and we all knew what it was going to be. The only mystery was what would be on the clasp this year. We joked about it.’
‘What is on the clasp?’ Pop asked, peering into the photograph again … or peering at it, anyway: Kevin would testify in any court in the land that peering into a Polaroid was simply impossible.
‘A bird,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s a woodpecker. And that’s what the dog in the picture is wearing around its neck. A string tie with a woodpecker on the clasp.’
‘Jesus!’ Pop said. He was in his own quiet way one of the world’s finest actors, but there was no need to simulate the surprise he felt now.
Mr Delevan abruptly swept all the Polaroids together. ‘Let’s put these goddam things in the woodstove,’ he said.
When Kevin and his father got home, it was ten minutes past five and starting to drizzle. Mrs Delevan’s two-year-old Toyota was not in the driveway, but she had been and gone. There was a note from her on the kitchen table, held down by the salt and pepper shakers. When Kevin unfolded the note, a ten-dollar bill fell out.
Dear Kevin,
At the bridge game Jane Doyon asked if Meg and I would like to have dinner with her at Bonanza as her husband is off to Pittsburgh on business and she’s knocking around the house alone. I said we’d be delighted. Meg especially. You know how much she likes to be ‘one of the girls’! Hope you don’t mind eating in ‘solitary splendor.’ Why not order a pizza & some soda for yourself, and your father can order for himself when he gets home. He doesn’t like reheated pizza & you know he’ll want a couple of beers.
Luv
you,
Mom
They looked at each other, both saying Well, there’s one thing we don’t have to worry about without having to say it out loud. Apparently neither she nor Meg had noticed that Mr Delevan’s car was still in the garage.
‘Do you want me to -‘ Kevin began, but there was no need to finish because his father cut across him: ‘Yes.
Check. Right now.’
Kevin went up the stairs by twos and into his room. He had a bureau and a desk. The bottom desk drawer was full of what Kevin simply thought of as ‘stuff’: things it would have seemed somehow criminal to throw away, although he had no real use for any of them. There was his grandfather’s pocket-watch, heavy, scrolled, magnificent … and so badly rusted that the jeweler in Lewiston he and his mother had brought it to only took one look, shook his head, and pushed it back across the counter. There were two sets of matching cufflinks and two orphans, a Penthouse gatefold, a paperback book called Gross Jokes, and a Sony Walkman which had for some reason developed a habit of eating the tapes it was supposed to play. It was just stuff, that was all. There was no other word that fit.
Part of the stuff, of course, was the thirteen string ties Aunt Hilda had sent him for his last thirteen birthdays.
He took them out one by one, counted, came up with twelve instead of thirteen, rooted through the stuff-drawer again, then counted again. Still twelve.
‘Not there?’
Kevin, who had been squatting, cried out and leaped to his feet.
‘I’m sorry,’ Mr Delevan said from the doorway. ‘That was dumb.’
‘That’s okay,’ Kevin said. He wondered briefly how fast a person’s heart could beat before the person in question simply blew his engine. ‘I’m just … on edge. Stupid.’
‘It’s not.’ His father looked at him soberly. ‘When I saw that tape, I got so scared I felt like maybe I’d have to reach into my mouth and push my stomach back down with my fingers.’
Kevin looked at his father gratefully.
‘It’s not there, is it?’ Mr Delevan said. ‘The one with the woodpecker or whatever in hell it was supposed to be?’
‘No. It’s not.’
‘Did you keep the camera in that drawer?’
Kevin nodded his head slowly. ‘Pop – Mr Merrill – said to let it rest every so often. That was part of the schedule he made out.’
Something tugged briefly at his mind, was gone.
‘So I stuck it in there.’
‘Boy,’ Mr Delevan said softly.
‘Yeah.’
They looked at each other in the gloom, and then suddenly Kevin smiled. It was like watching the sun burst through a raft of clouds.
‘What?’
‘I was remembering how it felt,’ Kevin said. ‘I swung that sledgehammer so hard -‘
Mr Delevan began to smile, too. ‘I thought you were going to take off your own damned and when it hit it made this CRUNCH! sound flew every damn whichway -‘
‘BOOM!’ Kevin finished. ‘Gone!’
They began to laugh together in Kevin’s room, and Kevin found he was almost – almost – glad all this had happened. The sense of relief was as inexpressible and yet as perfect as the sensation one feels when, either by happy accident or by some psychic guidance, another person manages to scratch that one itchy place on one’s back that one cannot scratch oneself, hitting it exactly, bang on the money, making it wonderfully worse for a single second by the simple touch, pressure, arrival, of those fingers … and then, oh blessed relief.
It was like that with the camera and with his father’s knowing.
‘It’s gone,’ Kevin said. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘As gone as Hiroshima after the Enola Gay dropped the A-bomb on it,’ Mr Delevan replied, and then added:
‘Smashed to shit, is what I mean to say.’
Kevin gawped at his father and then burst into helpless peals – screams, almost – of laughter. His father joined him. They ordered a loaded pizza shortly after. When Mary and Meg Delevan arrived home at twenty past seven, they both still had the giggles.
‘Well, you two look like you’ve been up to no good,’ Mrs Delevan said, a little puzzled. There was something in their hilarity that struck the woman centre of her – that deep part which the sex seems to tap into fully only in times of childbirth and disaster – as a little unhealthy. They looked and sounded like men who may have just missed having a car accident. ‘Want to let the ladies in on it?’
‘Just two bachelors having a good time,’ Mr Delevan said.
‘Smashing good time,’ Kevin amplified, to which his father added, ‘is what we mean to say,’ and they looked at each other and were howling again.
Meg, honestly bewildered, looked at her mother and said: ‘Why are they doing that, Mom?’
Mrs Delevan said, ‘Because they have penises, dear. Go hang up your coat.’
Pop Merrill let the Delevans, pere et fils, out, and then locked the door behind them. He turned off all the lights save for the one over the worktable, produced his keys, and opened his own stuff-drawer. From it he took Kevin Delevan’s Polaroid Sun 660, chipped but otherwise undamaged, and looked at it fixedly. It had scared both the father and the son. That was clear enough to Pop; it had scared him as well, and still did.
But to put a thing like this on a block and smash it to smithereens? That was crazy.
There was a way to turn a buck on this goddam thing.
There always was.
Pop locked it away in the drawer. He would sleep on it, and by the morning he would know how to proceed. In truth, he already had a pretty goddam good idea.
He got up, snapped off the work-light, and wove his way through the gloom toward the steps leading up to his apartment. He moved with the unthinking surefooted grace of long practice.
Halfway there, he stopped.
He felt an urge, an amazingly strong urge, to go back and look at the camera again. What in God’s name for? He didn’t even have any film for the Christless thing … not that he had any intentions of taking any pictures with it. If someone else wanted to take some snapshots, watch that dog’s progress, the buyer was welcome. Caveet emperor, as he always said. Let the goddam emperor caveet or not as it suited him. As for him, he’d as soon go into a cage filled with lions without even a goddam whip and chair.
Still …
‘Leave it,’ he said roughly in the darkness, and the sound of his own voice startled him and got him moving and he went upstairs without another look back.