A TRAMP ABROAD By Mark Twain

ruffled with foam, and girdled with rainbows–to look upon

these things, they say, was to look upon the last possibility

of the sublime and the enchanting. Therefore, as I say,

we talked mainly of these coming wonders; if we were conscious

of any impatience, it was to get there in favorable season;

if we felt any anxiety, it was that the day might

remain perfect, and enable us to see those marvels at their best.

As we approached the Kaiserstuhl, a part of the harness gave way.

We were in distress for a moment, but only a moment.

It was the fore-and-aft gear that was broken–the thing

that leads aft from the forward part of the horse and is

made fast to the thing that pulls the wagon. In America

this would have been a heavy leathern strap; but, all over

the continent it is nothing but a piece of rope the size

of your little finger–clothes-line is what it is.

Cabs use it, private carriages, freight-carts and wagons,

all sorts of vehicles have it. In Munich I afterward saw

it used on a long wagon laden with fifty-four half-barrels

of beer; I had before noticed that the cabs in Heidelberg

used it–not new rope, but rope that had been in use

since Abraham’s time –and I had felt nervous, sometimes,

behind it when the cab was tearing down a hill. But I

had long been accustomed to it now, and had even become

afraid of the leather strap which belonged in its place.

Our driver got a fresh piece of clothes-line out of his

locker and repaired the break in two minutes.

So much for one European fashion. Every country has its

own ways. It may interest the reader to know how they “put

horses to” on the continent. The man stands up the horses

on each side of the thing that projects from the front end

of the wagon, and then throws the tangled mess of gear

forward through a ring, and hauls it aft, and passes the

other thing through the other ring and hauls it aft on the

other side of the other horse, opposite to the first one,

after crossing them and bringing the loose end back,

and then buckles the other thing underneath the horse,

and takes another thing and wraps it around the thing I spoke

of before, and puts another thing over each horse’s head,

with broad flappers to it to keep the dust out of his eyes,

and puts the iron thing in his mouth for him to grit his

teeth on, uphill, and brings the ends of these things aft

over his back, after buckling another one around under

his neck to hold his head up, and hitching another thing

on a thing that goes over his shoulders to keep his head

up when he is climbing a hill, and then takes the slack

of the thing which I mentioned a while ago, and fetches it

aft and makes it fast to the thing that pulls the wagon,

and hands the other things up to the driver to steer with.

I never have buckled up a horse myself, but I do not think

we do it that way.

We had four very handsome horses, and the driver was very proud

of his turnout. He would bowl along on a reasonable trot,

on the highway, but when he entered a village he did it on

a furious run, and accompanied it with a frenzy of ceaseless

whip-crackings that sounded like volleys of musketry.

He tore through the narrow streets and around the sharp

curves like a moving earthquake, showering his volleys

as he went, and before him swept a continuous tidal wave

of scampering children, ducks, cats, and mothers clasping

babies which they had snatched out of the way of the

coming destruction; and as this living wave washed aside,

along the walls, its elements, being safe, forgot their fears

and turned their admiring gaze upon that gallant driver

till he thundered around the next curve and was lost to sight.

He was a great man to those villagers, with his gaudy

clothes and his terrific ways. Whenever he stopped

to have his cattle watered and fed with loaves of bread,