A TRAMP ABROAD By Mark Twain

a little to the present day, but with the hyphens left out,

in the German fashion. This is the shape it takes:

instead of saying “Mr. Simmons, clerk of the county and

district courts, was in town yesterday,” the new form put

it thus: “Clerk of the County and District Courts Simmons

was in town yesterday.” This saves neither time nor ink,

and has an awkward sound besides. One often sees a remark

like this in our papers: “MRS. Assistant District Attorney

Johnson returned to her city residence yesterday for the season.”

That is a case of really unjustifiable compounding;

because it not only saves no time or trouble, but confers

a title on Mrs. Johnson which she has no right to.

But these little instances are trifles indeed, contrasted

with the ponderous and dismal German system of piling

jumbled compounds together. I wish to submit the following

local item, from a Mannheim journal, by way of illustration:

“In the daybeforeyesterdayshortlyaftereleveno’clock Night,

the inthistownstandingtavern called ‘The Wagoner’ was downburnt.

When the fire to the onthedownburninghouseresting Stork’s

Nest reached, flew the parent Storks away. But when

the bytheraging, firesurrounded Nest ITSELF caught Fire,

straightway plunged the quickreturning Mother-Stork into

the Flames and died, her Wings over her young ones outspread.”

Even the cumbersome German construction is not able to

take the pathos out of that picture–indeed, it somehow

seems to strengthen it. This item is dated away back

yonder months ago. I could have used it sooner, but I

was waiting to hear from the Father-stork. I am still waiting.

“ALSO!” If I had not shown that the German is a

difficult language, I have at least intended to do so.

I have heard of an American student who was asked how he

was getting along with his German, and who answered

promptly: “I am not getting along at all. I have worked

at it hard for three level months, and all I have got

to show for it is one solitary German phrase–‘ZWEI GLAS'”

(two glasses of beer). He paused for a moment, reflectively;

then added with feeling: “But I’ve got that SOLID!”

And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing

and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault,

and not my intent. I heard lately of a worn and sorely

tried American student who used to fly to a certain German

word for relief when he could bear up under his aggravations

no longer–the only word whose sound was sweet and

precious to his ear and healing to his lacerated spirit.

This was the word DAMIT. It was only the SOUND that

helped him, not the meaning; [3] and so, at last, when he

learned that the emphasis was not on the first syllable,

his only stay and support was gone, and he faded away

and died.

3. It merely means, in its general sense, “herewith.”

I think that a description of any loud, stirring,

tumultuous episode must be tamer in German than in English.

Our descriptive words of this character have such

a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German

equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless.

Boom, burst, crash, roar, storm, bellow, blow, thunder,

explosion; howl, cry, shout, yell, groan; battle, hell.

These are magnificent words; the have a force and magnitude

of sound befitting the things which they describe.

But their German equivalents would be ever so nice to sing

the children to sleep with, or else my awe-inspiring ears

were made for display and not for superior usefulness

in analyzing sounds. Would any man want to die in a

battle which was called by so tame a term as a SCHLACHT?

Or would not a comsumptive feel too much bundled up,

who was about to go out, in a shirt-collar and a seal-ring,

into a storm which the bird-song word GEWITTER was employed

to describe? And observe the strongest of the several

German equivalents for explosion–AUSBRUCH. Our word

Toothbrush is more powerful than that. It seems to me

that the Germans could do worse than import it into their

language to describe particularly tremendous explosions with.

The German word for hell–Ho”lle–sounds more like HELLY

than anything else; therefore, how necessary chipper,