Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

of soldiers once, if you want to see what running is like. Here’s

little Joan–next she’ll be threatening to go for a soldier!”

The idea was so funny, and got such a good laugh, that the Paladin

gave it another trial, and said: “Why you can just see her!–see her

plunge into battle like any old veteran. Yes, indeed; and not a poor

shabby common soldier like us, but an officer–an officer, mind

you, with armor on, and the bars of a steel helmet to blush behind

and hide her embarrassment when she finds an army in front of her

that she hasn’t been introduced to. An officer? Why, she’ll be a

captain! A captain, I tell you, with a hundred men at her back–or

maybe girls. Oh, no common-soldier business for her! And, dear

me, when she starts for that other army, you’ll think there’s a

hurricane blowing it away!”

Well, he kept it up like that till he made their sides ache with

laughing; which was quite natural, for certainly it was a very funny

idea–at that time–I mean, the idea of that gentle little creature,

that wouldn’t hurt a fly, and couldn’t bear the sight of blood, and

was so girlish and shrinking in all ways, rushing into battle with a

gang of soldiers at her back. Poor thing, she sat there confused and

ashamed to be so laughed at; and yet at that very minute there was

something about to happen which would change the aspect of

things, and make those young people see that when it comes to

laughing, the person that laughs last has the best chance. For just

then a face which we all knew and all feared projected itself from

behind the Fairy Tree, and the thought that shot through us all was,

crazy Benoist has gotten loose from his cage, and we are as good

as dead! This ragged and hairy and horrible creature glided out

from behind the tree, and raised an ax as he came. We all broke

and fled, this way and that, the girls screaming and crying. No, not

all; all but Joan. She stood up and faced the man, and remained so.

As we reached the wood that borders the grassy clearing and

jumped into its shelter, two or three of us glanced back to see if

Benoist was gaining on us, and that is what we saw–Joan standing,

and the maniac gliding stealthily toward her with his ax lifted. The

sight was sickening. We stood where we were, trembling and not

able to move. I did not want to see the murder done, and yet I

could not take my eyes away. Now I saw Joan step forward to meet

the man, though I believed my eyes must be deceiving me. Then I

saw him stop. He threatened her with his ax, as if to warn her not

to come further, but she paid no heed, but went steadily on, until

she was right in front of him–right under his ax. Then she stopped,

and seemed to begin to talke with him. It made me sick, yes,

giddy, and everything swam around me, and I could not see

anything for a time–whether long or brief I do not know. When

this passed and I looked again, Joan was walking by the man’s side

toward the village, holding him by his hand. The ax was in her

other hand.

One by one the boys and girls crept out, and we stood there gazing,

open-mouthed, till those two entered the village and were hid from

sight. It was then that we named her the Brave.

We left the black flag there to continue its mournful office, for we

had other matter to think of now. We started for the village on a

run, to give warning, and get Joan out of her peril; though for one,

after seeing what I had seen, it seemed to me that while Joan had

the ax the man’s chance was not the best of the two. When we

arrived the danger was past, the madman was in custody. All the

people were flocking to the little square in front of the church to

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