Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

lapping over the edges. But up to that point the audience would not

allow him to substitute a new battle, knowing that the old ones

were the best, and sure to imporve as long as France could hold

them; and so, instead of saying to him as they would have said to

another, “Give us something fresh, we are fatigued with that old

thing,” they would say, with one voice and with a strong interest,

“Tell about the surprise at Beaulieu again–tell in three or four

times!” That is a compliment which few narrative experts have

heard in their lifetime.

At first when the Paladin heard us tell about the glories of the

Royal Audience he was broken-hearted because he was not taken

with us to it; next, his talk was full of what he would have done if

he had been there; and within two days he was telling what he did

do when he was there. His mill was fairly started, now, and could

be trusted to take care of its affair. Within three nights afterward

all his battles were taking a rest, for already his worshipers in the

tap-room were so infatuated with the great tale of the Royal

Audience that they would have nothing else, and so besotted with

it were they that they would have cried if they could not have

gotten it.

No‰l Rainguesson hid himself and heard it, and came and told me,

and after that we went together to listen, bribing the inn hostess to

let us have her little private parlor, where we could stand at the

wickets in the door and see and hear.

The tap-room was large, yet had a snug and cozy look, with its

inviting little tables and chairs scattered irregularly over its red

brick floor, and its great fire flaming and crackling in the wide

chimney. It was a comfortable place to be in on such chilly and

blustering March nights as these, and a goodly company had taken

shelter there, and were sipping their wine in contentment and

gossiping one with another in a neighborly way while they waited

for the historian. The host, the hostess, and their pretty daughter

were flying here and there and yonder among the tables and doing

their best to keep up with the orders. The room was about forty

feet square, and a space or aisle down the center of it had been

kept vacant and reserved for the Paladin’s needs. At the end of it

was a platform ten or twelve feet wide, with a big chair and a

small table on it, and three steps leading up to it.

Among the wine-sippers were many familiar faces: the cobbler, the

farrier, the blacksmith, the wheelwright, the armorer, the maltster,

the weaver, the backer, the miller’s man with his dusty coat, and so

on; and conscious and important, as a matter of course, was the

barber-surgeon, for he is that in all villages. As he has to pull

everybody’s teeth and purge and bleed all the grown people once a

month to keep their health sound, he knows everybody, and by

constant contact with all sorts of folk becomes a master of

etiquette and manners and a conversationalist of large facility.

There were plenty of carriers, drovers, and their sort, and

journeymen artisans.

When the Paladin presently came sauntering indolently in, he was

received with a cheer, and the barber hustled forward and greeted

him with several low and most graceful and courtly bows, also

taking his hand an touching his lips to it. Then he called in a loud

voice for a stoup of wine for the Paladin, and when the host’s

daughter brought it up on the platform and dropped her courtesy

and departed, the barber called after her, and told her to add the

wine to his score. This won him ejaculations of approval, which

pleased him very much and made his little rat-eyes shine; and such

applause is right and proper, for when we do a liberal and gallant

thing it is but natural that we should wish to see notice taken of it.

The barber called upon the people to rise and drink the Paladin’s

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