Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

yet she showed no wear, no weariness, and but seldom let fly her

temper. As a rule she put her day through calm, alert, patient,

fencing with those veteran masters of scholarly sword-play and

coming out always without a scratch.

One day a Dominican sprung upon her a question which made

everybody cock up his ears with interest; as for me, I trembled, and

said to myself she is done this time, poor Joan, for there is no way

of answering this. The sly Dominican began in this way–in a sort

of indolent fashion, as if the thing he was about was a matter of no

moment:

“You assert that God has willed to deliver France from this English

bondage?”

“Yes, He has willed it.”

“You wish for men-at-arms, so that you may go to the relief of

Orleans, I believe?”

“Yes–and the sooner the better.”

“God is all-powerful, and able to do whatsoever thing He wills to

do, is it not so?”

“Most surely. None doubts it.”

The Dominican lifted his head suddenly, and sprung that question I

have spoken of, with exultation:

“Then answer me this. If He has willed to deliver France, and is

able to do whatsoever He wills, where is the need for

men-at-arms?”

There was a fine stir and commotion when he said that, and a

sudden thrusting forward of heads and putting up of hands to ears

to catch the answer; and the Dominican wagged his head with

satisfaction, and looked about him collecting his applause, for it

shone in every face. But Joan was not disturbed. There was no note

of disquiet in her voice when she answered:

“He helps who help themselves. The sons of France will fight the

battles, but He will give the victory!”

You could see a light of admiration sweep the house from face to

face like a ray from the sun. Even the Dominican himself looked

pleased, to see his master-stroke so neatly parried, and I heard a

venerable bishop mutter, in the phrasing common to priest and

people in that robust time, “By God, the child has said true. He

willed that Goliath should be slain, and He sent a child like this to

do it!”

Another day, when the inquisition had dragged along until

everybody looked drowsy and tired but Joan, Brother S‚guin,

professor of theology at the University of Poitiers, who was a sour

and sarcastic man, fell to plying Joan with all sorts of nagging

questions in his bastard Limousin French–for he was from

Limoges. Finally he said:

“How is it that you understand those angels? What language did

they speak?”

“French.”

“In-deed! How pleasant to know that our language is so honored!

Good French?”

“Yes–perfect.”

“Perfect, eh? Well, certainly you ought to know. It was even better

than your own, eh?”

“As to that, I–I believe I cannot say,” said she, and was going on,

but stopped. Then she added, almost as if she were saying it to

herself, “Still, it was an improvement on yours!”

I knew there was a chuckle back of her eyes, for all their

innocence. Everybody shouted. Brother S‚guin was nettled, and

asked brusquely:

“Do you believe in God?”

Joan answered with an irritating nonchalance:

“Oh, well, yes–better than you, it is likely.”

Brother S‚guin lost his patience, and heaped sarcasm after sarcasm

upon her, and finally burst out in angry earnest, exclaiming:

“Very well, I can tell you this, you whose believe in God is so

great: God has not willed that any shall believe in you without a

sign. Where is your sign?–show it!”

This roused Joan, and she was on her feet in a moment, and flung

out her retort with spirit:

“I have not come to Poitiers to show signs and do miracles. Send

me to Orleans and you shall have signs enough. Give me

men-at-arms–few or many–and let me go!”

The fire was leaping from her eyes–ah, the heroic little figure!

can’t you see her? There was a great burst of acclamations, and she

sat down blushing, for it was not in her delicate nature to like

being conspicuous.

This speech and that episode about the French language scored

two points against Brother S‚guin, while he scored nothing against

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