Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

Paladin took his horse’s ears for hostile lances and got off and

climbed a tree–”

“It’s a lie! a lie without shadow of foundation, and I call upon you

all to beware you you give credence to the malicious inventions of

this ramshackle slander-mill that has been doing its best to destroy

my character for years, and will grind up your own reputations for

you next. I got off to tighten my saddle-girth–I wish I may die in

my tracks if it isn’t so–and whoever wants to believe it can, and

whoever don’t can let it alone.”

“There, that is the way with him, you see; he never can discuss a

theme temperately, but always flies off the handle and becomes

disagreeable. And you notice his defect of memory. He remembers

getting off his horse, but forgets all the rest, even the tree. But that

is natural; he would remember getting off the horse because he

was so used to doing it. He always did it when there was an alarm

and the clash of arms at the front.”

“Why did he choose that time for it?” asked Jean.

“I don’t know. To tighten up his girth, he thinks, to climb a tree, I

think; I saw him climb nine trees in a single night.”

“You saw nothing of the kind! A person that can lie like that

deserves no one’s respect. I ask you all to answer me. Do you

believe what this reptile has said?”

All seemed embarrassed, and only Pierre replied. He said,

hesitatingly:

“I–well, I hardly know what to say. It is a delicate situation. It

seems offensive to me to refuse to believe a person when he makes

so direct a statement, and yet I am obliged to say, rude as it may

appear, that I am not able to believe the whole of it–no, I am not

able to believe that you climbed nine trees.”

“There!” cried the Paladin; “now what do you think of yoiurself,

No‰l Rainguesson? How many do you believe I climbed, Pierre?”

“Only eight.”

The laughter that followed inflamed the Paladin’s anger to white

heat, and he said:

“I bide my time–I bide my time. I will reckon with you all, I

promise you that!”

“Don’t get him started,” No‰l pleaded; “he is a perfect lion when he

gets started. I saw enough to teach me that, after the third skirmish.

After it was over I saw him come out of the bushes and attack a

dead man single-handed.”

“It is another lie; and I give you fair warning that you are going too

far. You will see me attack a live one if you are not careful.”

“Meaning me, of course. This wounds me more than any number

of injurious and unkind speeches could do. In gratitude to one’s

benefactor–”

“Benefactor? What do I owe you, I should like to know?”

“You owe me your life. I stood between the trees and the foe, and

kept hundreds and thousands of the enemy at bay when they were

thirsting for your blood. And I did not do it to display my daring. I

did it because I loved you and could not live without you.”

“There–you have said enough! I will not stay here to listen to these

infamies. I can endure your lies, but not your love. Keep that

corruption for somebody with a stronger stomach than mine. And I

want to say this, before I go. That you people’s small performances

might appear the better and win you the more glory, I hid my own

deeds through all the march. I went always to the front, where the

fighting was thickest, to be remote from you in order that you

might not see and be discouraged by the things I did to the enemy.

It was my purpose to keep this a secret in my own breast, but you

force me to reveal it. If you ask for my witnesses, yonder they lie,

on the road we have come. I found that road mud, I paved it with

corpses. I found that country sterile, I fertilized it with blood. Time

and again I was urged to go to the rear because the command could

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