Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

windiest blusterer and most catholic liar in the kingdom. I’m glad

of his luck, but I hadn’t the seeing eye. I shouldn’t have chosen him

for the most dangerous post in the army. I should have placed him

in the rear to kill the wounded and violate the dead.”

“Well, we shall see. Joan probably knows what is in him better

than we do. And I’ll give you another idea. When a person in Joan

of Arc’s position tells a man he is brave, he believes it; and

believing it is enough; in fact, to believe yourself brave is to be

brave; it is the one only essential thing.”

“Now you’ve hit it!” cried No‰l. “She’s got the creating mouth as

well as the seeing eye! Ah, yes, that is the thing. France was cowed

and a coward; Joan of Arc has spoken, and France is marching,

with her head up!”

I was summoned now to write a letter from Joan’s dictation.

During the next day and night our several uniforms were made by

the tailors, and our new armor provided. We were beautiful to look

upon now, whether clothed for peace or war. Clothed for peace, in

costly stuffs and rich colors, the Paladin was a tower dyed with the

glories of the sunset; plumed and sashed and iron-clad for war, he

was a still statelier thing to look at.

Orders had been issued for the march toward Blois. It was a clear,

sharp, beautiful morning. As our showy great company trotted out

in column, riding two and two, Joan and the Duke of Alen‡on in

the lead, D’Aulon and the big standard-bearer next, and so on, we

made a handsome spectacle, as you may well imagine; and as we

plowed through the cheering crowds, with Joan bowing her

plumed head to left and right and the sun glinting from her silver

mail, the spectators realized that the curtain was rolling up before

their eyes upon the first act of a prodigious drama, and their rising

hopes were expressed in an enthusiasm that increased with each

moment, until at last one seemed to even physically feel the

concussion of the huzzas as well as hear them. Far down the street

we heard the softened strains of wind-blown music, and saw a

cloud of lancers moving, the sun glowing with a subdued light

upon the massed armor, but striking bright upon the soaring

lance-heads–a vaguely luminous nebula, so to speak, with a

constellation twinkling above it–and that was our guard of honor.

It joined us, the procession was complete, the first war-march of

Joan of Arc was begun, the curtain was up.

Chapter 12 Joan Puts Heart in Her Army

WE WERE at Blois three days. Oh, that camp, it is one of the

treasures of my memory! Order? There was no more order among

those brigands than there is among the wolves and the hyenas.

They went roaring and drinking about, whooping, shouting,

swearing, and entertaining themselves with all manner of rude and

riotous horse-play; and the place was full of loud and lewd

women, and they were no whit behind the men for romps and

noise and fantastics.

It was in the midst of this wild mob that No‰l and I had our first

glimpse of La Hire. He answered to our dearest dreams. He was of

great size and of martial bearing, he was cased in mail from head

to heel, with a bushel of swishing plumes on his helmet, and at his

side the vast sword of the time.

He was on his way to pay his respects in state to Joan, and as he

passed through the camp he was restoring order, and proclaiming

that the Maid had come, and he would have no such spectacle as

this exposed to the head of the army. His way of creating order

was his own, not borrowed. He did it with his great fists. As he

moved along swearing and admonishing, he let drive this way, that

way, and the other, and wherever his blow landed, a man went

down.

“Damn you!” he said, “staggering and cursing around like this, and

the Commander-in-Chief in the camp! Straighten up!” and he laid

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